Exitus Acta Probat
by Green-Eyed-Wolf9324
Summary: After her dad's death, and Dean's impending death, Anna realizes that she can't do anything to save him. Behind his back, she plots a way to become a hunter after his time is up, vowing to avenge his death. Even if it goes against his final wish. Warning: Spanking. REVISED VERSION
1. Chapter 1

**ATTENTION: THIS IS THE NEW REVISED VERSION**

Chapter 1:

"Hey, don't forget the extra onions this time, huh?" Dean said to Sam as he handed him a small wad of cash. We had pulled up in front of a small diner where Dean was sending Sam in to get us some food. I was sitting in the back of the Impala with my arms crossed under strict orders not to speak until we reached the next motel. Apparently, Dean didn't appreciate being spoken back to.

"Dude, we're the ones who are gonna have to ride in the car with your extra onions." Sam replied, causing me to let out a snort of laughter, followed by a warning look from Dean. The amused look on my face immediately turned back into a scowl and I kicked the back of Sam's seat in defiance.

"Kick that seat one more time." Dean warned, then called after Sam as he slid out of the car, "See if they have any pie!"

When Sam closed the door behind him, Dean turned around in his seat to give me "the look". I avoided looking at him until I felt like his gaze was going to burn holes in the top of my head. Finally, I snapped my head up to look at him.

"What?" I probably could have had a little less attitude in my tone, or even kept my mouth shut.

"Really? Do you wanna do this now, because I have no problem doing this now."

I closed my mouth and folded my arms once again, averting my eyes. No, I didn't want to do this now. Nor did I want to do it later, either.

"No, Dean, I don't." As I said this, the radio started to make a lot of static noise. Dean looked away from me to mess with it, but it turned off completely. I glanced over the radio at the diner and realized that the people that I saw in there when we first pulled up, were gone. So was Sam.

"Dean!" I said pointing to the diner. He looked up at the sudden tone difference in my voice and when he saw the diner, yelled Sam's name and opened the car door. I moved to open my door too, but Dean said over his shoulder, "Stay here!"

I watched him run to the door of the café, pulling his gun out. I was tempted to ignore his instructions and follow him in there, but I knew the penalty and I was already in enough trouble as it was for talking back to him. So I stayed, but I moved to the front seat so I could have a better view.

I watched Dean pace cautiously across the room, gun pointing forward. He disappeared from sight when he went into the back. I waited, hardly breathing. I could hear him yelling Sam's name from behind the diner. Then, he was running from the back of the diner out the front door.

"Sam!" he yelled over and over when he was outside, searching around. "Sammy!"

I opened the door, stepping out so I was right next to the car, but out of it all the same.

"He didn't come back out, Dean!" I yelled to him. His head whipped around and he pointed at me furiously.

"Anna, get back in the car!"

I listened without hesitation. He looked really shaken up. I left the door open until he came back over to the car, wrenching the door open on his side and sliding in.

"Dean what happened?" I asked, completely forgetting the rule about not talking. "Where is he, what took him?"

"Demons, I think." He said, slamming the car into gear and backing up way faster than normal. The car whipped around so that it was facing the road and we were squealing tires as we took off down the road. "Everyone in there was dead. Throats slit. There was sulfur on the back door."

"Demons? But, Dean, if the demons took Sam-"

"We're going to get him back." Dean stated firmly, his tone indicating that it was the end of that discussion. "Buckle up."

I clenched my teeth together at the frustration of being shut down. If I were Sam, Dean would be talking through all the possibilities of what would happen. If I was Sam, he'd be strategizing how they were going to find him. But I wasn't Sam. I was me, and I was just along for the ride. And I hated that.

"What are we going to do?" I pressed, not buckling. "How are we going to find him?"

"First of all, I told you to buckle up. Second, there is no 'we', there is 'me'. You're not getting involved in this at all, so you can sit there and let me think about what _I_ am going to do, and how _I_ am going to find Sam before you cross the line that you're pushing. Understand?"

"So you're not going to tell me anything?" I demanded angrily. "He's my brother too, Dean, and I'm worried! You can't keep me in the dark! It's not right!" I was so sick of being told to sit back and keep quiet. I was almost thirteen years old. It had been almost a year since Dad died. I had seen more than anyone my age would ever see in an entire lifetime. I knew things people older than me didn't even know. "I'm not a baby, and just because I'm a girl doesn't mean you have to treat me like-"

The car came to a fast stop on the side of the road and Dean was out of the car and stalking around the front before I could even finish my sentence. Knowing what was coming, I tried to scramble to the other side of the car, but my door opened and he was dragging me out of the seat with ease.

"Wait, Dean!" I gasped, but my plea fell on deaf ears as he slammed my door shut then bent me right over the hood of the car. I screeched as his hand fell sharply over my jeans. Over and over it fell until I was sobbing into the hood, the fight gone right out of me.

"Are you done?" he asked when he was finished. I wanted to ask him the same thing, but instead, I replied with a meek 'Yes sir'. He opened my door and firmly guided me back into the passenger seat. I winced as I sat down. He didn't spank me for very long, but he did start a pretty good fire in my backside. I wiped at my eyes, embarrassed and contrite.

"Buckle up." Dean said once he got back in his eat. I immediately followed his order and clicked the buckle into place. He slid his phone out of his pocket, dialed a number, than put it up to his ear. "Bobby, its Dean. We have a problem. Sam just disappeared from a diner. Everyone was killed, throats slit, and there was sulfur at the back door. Anna and I are on our way to your place. If you could meet us halfway somewhere it would be a lot quicker. Call me when you get this."

When he hung up the phone, he didn't say anything to me. I sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity before he said, "Go to sleep, Anna. We're going to be driving for quite a while."

"I'm not tired." I said, trying to keep my voice as low as possible as to lower the chances that he would consider it backtalk.

"It's almost midnight. It's past your bedtime anyway."

I bit my bottom lip.

"Can I stay up here?" I asked, turning my head to fully look at him.

"Yes." He answered, then turned to look at me. His gaze softened a little bit, and he reached his arm out to me. I scooted over eagerly and leaned into him. "We're going to get him back, Anna. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to either of you."

I knew that. I knew it was Dean's life mission to protect us, but sometimes things happened, and it felt like no matter what he did, he couldn't keep us safe forever.

~ . ~

I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, I was leaning against the passenger door, a pillow tucked between the window and my head. Dean and Bobby were standing at the hood of the car, looking at a piece of paper that was spread out. It was bright out now, and we were parked alongside of a deserted highway.

I sat up and stretched. Dean looked up from the map and his eyes swept over me. He held a hand up and motion with his finger for me to go to him. Gladly, I tossed the pillow in the backseat and got out of the car. I walked sleepily over to his side, lacing my arm around his and leaning into it.

"What is this?" I asked, looking down at some kind of map.

"It's a map of all the demonic signs that have been going on recently." Bobby answered before Dean could say anything. "And there's nothing. Nothing at all."

"What does that mean?" I asked, looking up at Dean. He looked down at me and with a grim look said,

"Nothing good." He dragged a hand over his face. He looked tired. Really tired, and older. Ever since Dad died, he's had so much burden on his shoulders. Thinking about that made me feel extremely guilty for the way that I acted the night before. I gripped onto his arm tighter and rested my head against him. "How are we even going to know where to start? What are we going to do, close our eyes and point?"

Bobby gave a sigh with a shrug as he continued to study the map. They were both silent for a moment, the perfect time for my stomach to grumble loudly. Since we ended up leaving the diner because of what happened to Sam, I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. Both Dean and Bobby turned their heads to look at me and I flushed.

"Would it be a bad time to ask for some breakfast?"

"No. We don't have any leads right now anyway. We might as well—" he stopped short when his phone rang. In a rush, he pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen, then flipped it open and put it to his ear. "Ash, what do you got?"

Ash? Dean must have called him while I was sleeping. Ash was a weird, super smart, drunk-most-of-the-time guy that worked at the roadhouse with Ellen and Jo, two hunters that we had met a few days after Dad had passed away. Ellen used to know him, and her daughter Jo came along for a hunt one time. Though, her mom wasn't happy about it and she lied to get there. I was almost felt bitter to her because she could get away with that kind of stuff. Dean would have me over his knee quicker than I could say "boo" and have me locked in his car or a motel so fast it would make my head spin.

"Oh, come on, man! You've gotta give us something. We're looking at a three thousand-mile haystack here." Dean slapped his hand on the hood frustrated. "Well, what . . . come on, I don't have time for this!" his jaw clenched as he listened. I glanced over at Bobby who raised an eyebrow.

If Ash couldn't find something, then it was really unlikely that there was anything to find at all. Dean closed his phone and sighed, aggravated.

"Well, looks like we're going to the Roadhouse." He said. I perked up a little bit. I enjoyed Ellen. "Bobby, want to ride with us?"

"Sure, let me just drop off my car somewhere."

We parted way into our respective cars. I took advantage of an empty shotgun seat for the next few minutes before I would have to be sent back to the backseat.

"Do you think Sam knows we're trying to find him?" I asked after a couple minutes of silence.

"Of course he does." Dean replied gruffly. "Why wouldn't we look for him?"

I shrugged, feeling stupid for asking the question in the first place. Bobby pulled his car into a wal-mart parking lot and parked it near the back, where people wouldn't really notice it for a few days. After he got into our car, Dean went through Dunkin Donuts so I could get some breakfast. He even let me get an iced-coffee. That was my new favorite drink. He didn't let me have it often though. He said the caffeine made me too crazy and then I had to pee a lot.

When I was done eating, I crumpled up my garbage and put it back in the brown paper bag. I reached for my phone, getting ready to play tetris, but Dean stopped me by saying, "Get your school work out." I blanched, gaping at him in the mirror.

"Dean, its Saturday!" I protested. Saturday and Sunday were the only two days that I didn't have to do school work. Sam figured that it would be best for me to doing my school work during normal school hours to keep me on a good schedule. Every day from Monday to Friday I had to start school work at nine in the morning, and couldn't stop until three.

Sometimes, if hunts got in the way, I had a little leeway, but I was expected to spend six hours a day doing homework. I did get four fifteen minute breaks though throughout the day for stretching and resting my brain. I also had thirty minutes for lunch.

"I know its Saturday. But we have a long drive ahead of us and you're not going to spend the day playing on your phone. Especially after the way you behaved last night."

Bobby turned to eyeball me.

"You givin' your brothers trouble, little girl?"

"No." I defended, my tone a little harsher than I mean it to.

"You know that's impossible." Dean said to Bobby, though I could swear there was a small smirk on his face. But only briefly, before he looked back at me in the mirror. "Anna. Let's go. Get your books out and start working."

"No!" I whined. "I won't go on my phone all day!"

"This isn't debatable." Dean told me, hitting the breaks hard as a car pulled out in front of him. "Jackass." He muttered under his breath. I crossed my arms and leaned back into the seat.

"Normal kids don't go to school on Saturdays! They get to go outside and play, or read books, or play video games, or-"

"Anna, I really don't want to do this right now." Dean said. "Can you please just do this without arguing? I know you're behind on your lessons and you need to catch up."

"I can catch up on Monday!" I insisted, a definite whine in my voice. Why couldn't I sit in the car and do nothing? I didn't see anything wrong with that. "I spend all my time doing school work! I don't ever get to do anything I want to do!"

"You get to do whatever you want from three to nine at night, so don't even start with that bull, and unless you want to do homework tomorrow too, I'd suggest you shut your mouth and take out your work before I pull this car over."

I gave an irritated huff and Dean flashed me a warning look in the mirror.

"One." He said and I glared at him. "Two." I held his gaze for a moment and he watched me, gauging my reaction to see whether or not he was going to have to count to three. I didn't really want to get my ass tanned in front of Bobby, so that was what made me lean over to get my books out of my bag.

"That's the only warning you're getting today. I want your best behavior for the rest of the trip. The next time I have to talk to you, it won't be with words. Understand?"

"Yes, Dean." I grumped. This was going to be one long car ride.

~ . ~

As the day went on, the numbers on the page of my notebook seemed to get blurrier and blurrier. It was so hard to focus and my head was starting to ache. Lately, homework in the car had been giving me headaches. Not because I didn't want to do it, but for some reason, having to read and write didn't set well while being in a moving vehicle. Though, I knew if I brought it up to Dean he would just tell me to suck it up and deal with it.

We hit a particularly rough patch of road and the number I had been writing got all messed up. I growled when I realized that my pencil tip also broke, as I watched the tip roll down the paper and off the side.

"Really?" I demanded angrily under my breath. That was the only pencil I had with me, and my sharper had been MIA for the past week. There was no way I could do math with a pen, because I would have so many crossed off problems that there would only be one right problem per page. I chucked my pencil on the floor and threw my head back against the headrest.

"What's going on back there?" Dean asked, though not angrily.

"My fricken pencil tip broke and I don't have another one!" I replied.

"Whoa, watch your mouth, it's just a pencil." He scolded.

"It's not _just_ a pencil, it was my _last_ pencil!" I reiterated angrily. "Now I can't do my fricken math homework like you fricken wanted me too all because of that fricken bump in the road!"

When I was done, my fists were clenched and I was seething, leaning forward in my seat. I hadn't even realized that Dean had pulled the car over and was now turned around looking at me with a completely calm look on his face.

"And my head hurts!" I added, figuring while I was already on a role I should go with it. "This damn homework's been giving me headaches for the past week whenever I have to read or write in the car, so now not only do I have to do sucky homework, but I get to do it with a stupid fricking head ache!" I paused, my chest heaving with the sudden spike of adrenaline running through me. "This _sucks!_ " I finished with a yell.

Dean stared at me, completely silent as I seethed. Why did everything have to be so awful lately? Everything with Sam and his demon powers, the yellow eyed demon, and some weird war starting. No one had time for me anymore. It was all about Sam, or saving someone else, or finding the colt because they let it get taken from them again. Everything I had been doing with them for the past year was about everyone but me.

"The only time you ever pay attention to me anymore is when you're telling me to do homework, or you're yelling at me for doing something completely normal for a girl my age. I never get to do anything I want, like go to the movies, or shop for a new shirt because the same ten shirts I own get boring after a while, or even get a haircut, you make Sam do it because we don't have 'time' to get it done professionally." They were both staring at me now. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, wishing I hadn't said that part.

"I understand you're a little upset that you don't get to do the things you want, but that's life." Dean said after a moment. "The more you waste our time by having little temper tantrums like this, the less likely we'll be able to find Sam in time. So if you can just see past your own wants for a little bit and focus on what you need to do so we can find Sam, that would be wonderful."

I gaped at him, stung by his words. Bobby even turned his head to look at him with a raised eyebrow. When I didn't respond, he continued.

"So are you done acting like you're five years old? Can I get back to looking for our brother?"

I closed my mouth, not trusting any words to come out that wouldn't lead to tears or more, angry yelling. He took my silence as a yes, and turned around, pulling back onto the road and continuing. Bobby glanced at me before turning back around in his seat.

I closed my math book and slid it off my lap onto the floor, inching my way towards the window and sliding down so that I was out of Dean's rear view mirror view. Tears leaked into my eyes as I moved and my mouth seemed to be pulled back by some strong invisible force that I couldn't fight. As I tried to fight the sobs that were pushing their way up my throat, my face just seemed to crumple and I hid it behind my hands.

Dean had never said anything so hurtful to me before. He used to have more patience with me too. Before, he requested things of me, rather than immediately ordered me to do it. Now, everything was an order, and there was no patience in anything he did.

"Dean," Bobby said, his voice low. "That was a bit harsh, don't ya think?"

"Harsh?" Dean said, not bothering to keep his voice down. "Our brother has been kidnapped by demons, and she's causing a riot because her pencil broke! Priorities, Bobby. She needs to get hers straight."

"Priorities?" Bobby said, outrage in his voice. Now neither of them were bothering to keep their voices down. "You don't let her join in on hunts. You don't let her know anything that's going on. All you let her do is school work. So if you ask me, not being able to do her homework because her pencil broke is a pretty damn good reason for her to be upset! That is her priority put there by you!"

"Sam is a bigger priority than her homework, Bobby!"

"Well ya don't need to be an id-"

"Stop!" I yelled, lifting my face from my hands, tears streaming down. "Stop fighting! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you and I slow you down. I'm sorry I don't have my priorities straight all the time. I'm sorry, okay! Just stop fighting, I can't take it!"

They were both silent, then Bobby turned around to look me in the eye.

"You are _not_ a burden. Don't you _ever_ let him make you feel that way, because you aren't, you understand me?"

"You're not a burden, Anna." Dean sighed.

"No, just stop, both of you." I pleaded. "Leave me alone. I won't bother you anymore."

I laid down so that was face was buried in my pillow. This was the worst car ride ever.

~ . ~

"What the hell?" Dean's voice made me sit up instantly from where I had been laying in the back of the Impala. For the past hour, everyone had been completely silent. That was probably a good thing though. I was too upset to talk, Dean was too stressed, and Bobby was just being stuck in the middle of it all.

"Oh, my God." Bobby breathed.

I looked out the window to see a smoldering building before us.

"What the-" I looked around, realizing that I had been to this place before. I knew where we were. Before me, where the building lay in a smoking heap, was what used to be the Roadhouse, where Jo, Ellen, and Ash lived. My hand flew up to cover my mouth as Dean put the car in park. "Dean-"

"Shh. Stay in the car." he said, his voice empty as he opened his door and got out. Bobby followed, the two of them walking up the first charred board on the ground. They looked around, but I was pretty sure we were the only ones here. I watched as they walked onto the pile, moving boards and looking into the debris. Were they looking for someone? Ellen, Jo, or Ash?

Tears began to fill my eyes at the thought of the three of them being trapped inside during the fire. They were good people, they didn't deserve to die like that. Ellen was a hard-ass, but she had a lot of love, and she helped me a lot after Dad passed away. We'd been talking every so often, so I had gotten pretty close to her.

I leaned back, covering my face with my hands, my heart feeling like someone had reached into my chest and gripped it tight. My lungs felt like they couldn't get enough oxygen into them no matter how much I breathed in. I couldn't lose Ellen too. Everyone I cared about was being taken from me. I was starting to fear that soon, I wouldn't have anyone left. Not Sam, not Bobby-I couldn't even think about losing Dean. If I lost Dean, I don't know who I could ever go on.

The door next to me opened and I jumped, looking up to see Dean. He had his mouth open like he was going to say something, but closed it when he saw me. I had tears streaming down my cheeks, and I was sure my face was red from trying not to cry, but ultimately failing anyway. As if knowing exactly what I needed, Dean reached his hand out and pulled me from the car into his arms.

"She's dead, isn't she!" I wailed, burying my face into his jacket.

"We don't know that for sure." he replied, running a hand through my hair. Having him hold me made me cry even harder. I was so upset from what he had said earlier, but it didn't matter anymore. All I wanted was for him to hold me.

"She would have called us if she wasn't! She would have warned us or something! Ellen's gone, and we don't know where Sam is. I can't keep losing people, Dean. I can't."

"Anna, we don't know for sure if Ellen or Jo were even here when this happened, and we're not going to lose Sam. We're going to-" Dean gasped suddenly, releasing me from his embrace and clutching his head. I jumped reflexively and scooted over to Bobby's side.

"What was that?" Bobby demanded, putting a protective arm around my shoulder.

"I don't know." Dean answered. "A headache?"

"You get headaches like that a lot?"

"No. Must be the stress." he shook his head, a small chuckle coming from him. I stepped forward tentatively as he said "I could have sworn I saw something."

"What do you mean? Like a vision? Like what Sam gets?" Bobby asked as I glued myself to Dean's side once again, wiping my nose with the tip of my sleeve.

"What? No!" Dean sounded offended and I smiled. Dean had no tolerance for anyone being anything other than completely normal.

"I'm just saying." Bobby suggested.

"Come on, I'm not some psychic." A moment later though, Dean nearly took me down to the ground as he slumped against the car, groaning in pain as he held his head.

"Dean!" I shrieked, falling to my knees and scooting away, but it didn't seem like he heard me. I jumped to my feet looking at Bobby nervously. He reached forward, supporting Dean by his shoulders. I danced from one foot to the other, watching with wide eyes. His face was so contorted with pain that I found myself scrunching up my own face as I watched.

"Dean, Dean are you with me?"

"Yeah. I think so. I saw Sam. I saw him Bobby."

~ . ~

It was dark outside and getting late, but we kept driving to where Dean had envisioned Sam. We were all tense and barely spoke. There wasn't much talk in the car lately, so I was used to it. But there was something different about this silence. It felt wrong. There was too much fear, sadness, and anxiety hanging in air. Every breath felt like I was sucking in ice.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?" his little term of endearment for me made me feel better, especially since it seemed like he had forgotten all about being mad at me earlier, but the tone of his voice was strained, and I could tell he was still very tense.

"How much further until we get there?"

"Not too much longer-" he trailed off as we drove up to a wooded area and he looked over at Bobby who sighed.

"Well, looks like the rest of the way is on foot."

I moved to unbuckled my seat belt, but Dean turned around and gave me a look.

"Aw, Dean." I whined.

"Anna, whatever took Sam, whatever is going on . . . I don't want you to be a part of it. It's too dangerous. Stay in the car, keep your phone on. We'll call you. If worst comes to worst and you don't hear from us in a few hours . . ." he trailed off.

"Who am I supposed to call, Dean?" there was a hint of malice to my tone. "You, Sam, Bobby, you're all going to be there. Ellen is dead. Dad is dead. Who am I supposed to call, Dean?"

"No one. You won't have to call anyone." he said firmly. "We'll be back."

With that, he and Bobby got out of the car and went around to the trunk to get weapons. As they started off, I jumped out of the car, a sudden need to wrap my arms around him bursting through me.

"Dean!" I yelled. He turned around just in time for me to run right into him, wrapping my arms tighter around him than I ever did in my life. "Please be safe, Dean. Find Sam and come back to me."

His arms wrapped around me and he pressed his lips to the top of my head.

"Everything will be fine, Anna." he assured me, taking a step back so that he could look at me from arms length. He tipped his head down so that he could catch my gaze. "I promise."

"I love you." I whispered, holding back tears.

"I love you more." he replied. "No go get back in the car. Lay down and rest."

I nodded, turning slowly and walking back to the car.

~ . ~

I woke up to the sound of the car door closing. I jumped upright, rubbing my eyes.

"Dean?"

"Sorry honey, it's me." Bobby's voice replied from beside me. Suddenly, I realized that I was no longer in the backseat of the Impala, but sitting in the front seat of Bobby's car, and we were in front of his house, the sun peeking over the horizon.

"How did I . . . Where's Dean . . . Is Sam-"

"Everything is fine." Bobby said, but there was something in his eyes that made his statement false.

"Bobby . . ."

"Come on, why don't we go inside and get some breakfast. I'm starving."

"Bobby where's Dean? Where's Sam?"

"They're fine." he motioned for me to get out of the car. I did, keeping my eyes on him the entire time. He was keeping something from me.

"What happened? Why aren't they here?"

"They just had to wrap up a few things. They'll uh . . . they'll be here in a few days."

He turned and walked into the house. I followed after him, my heart beating faster.

"What aren't you telling me? Something bad happened, I can feel it. What happened, Bobby?" My voice has risen to a shout by the end, and Bobby turned around, pointing a finger threateningly at me.

"Look here, little girl. I just spend the whole night doing things a man my age shouldn't have to do! I'm tired! I'm hungry! I'm also the adult here, and whatever I chose to tell you or not tell you is my business and my decision, not yours, do you understand me?"

My mouth opened in surprise and I took a small step back.

"Now unless you can accept the information I just told you and have breakfast with me, then I suggest you go upstairs to your room."

We stared at each other for a few seconds before I took off to my room. My hands were shaking as I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and dialed Dean's number. His phone went straight through to voicemail though, so I tried calling Sam's number. The same thing happened. I growled, frustrated, and dialed Dean's number again.

"Dean, call me back asap. I want to know what is going on. You promised you would come back to me. Please don't do this to me, don't leave me in the dark. I need to know you're safe. Bobby isn't going to tell me anything. Please, Dean. Please call me."

I hung up the phone, sinking onto my bed. This was going to be a rough day.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

I laid on my bed, propped against the wall with some pillows, staring at the screen on my phone for what felt like ages before I heard Bobby walk up the stairs. Dean still hadn't called me back, or even texted me.

"Anna, you hungry?"

"No."

"It's noon, you gotta eat at some point."

"And you gotta tell me what's going on at some point."

Bobby shook his head without another word and turned on his heel, heading back downstairs.

"What's so bad that no one can tell me anything?" I yelled after him angrily. "You guys only keep me in the dark when it's something really bad, don't think I don't know that! I'm not stupid!"

He didn't respond. Of course he didn't. When Bobby didn't want to say something, it was nearly impossible to change his mind. That was one of the main reasons I hated being left at Bobby's. If they told him not to tell me stuff, he wouldn't. At least when I got left with Sam when I was younger, I could usually convince him to give me some hints. But Bobby was like an immovable mountain. You couldn't sway him no matter how hard you tried.

I flipped my phone open and tried to call Dean again. Why did it feel like I spent half of my life trying to call Dean? I closed the phone angrily and shoved it in my jean pocket, standing up. I slid my shoes on and made my way downstairs. Bobby was sitting at his desk with a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass in front of him, head in his hand.

Quietly, I tip-toed the rest of the way down the stairs and to the front door. I knew that I could only open the door so many inches before the hinges would start to squeak, so I sucked in my stomach and squeezed out as quickly and silently as possible, closing it gently. As soon as I was off the porch I began running to the back of Bobby's lot. There were a lot of old cars on Bobby's lot, some that he would fix up and sell, others that had been there just as long as I've been alive, and they were nice to sit in when I wanted to be alone, but way at the back corner of the lot, there was a huge oak tree that was perfect for climbing, and had a nice little hole in the tree where I kept a journal.

I made it to the tree, climbing up to my branch in what felt like record timing. I was breathing heavy, but it felt good to take my place on the thick branch with my back against the trunk, after I had pulled my journal out of the hole in its plastic bag. It was a spiral bound notebook that was slightly smaller than a regular one that I generally used for school work, and was purple with little flowers on it. Sam had given it to me when I was really young. I didn't talk much when Dad first brought me to live with them, so he thought that maybe instead of talking, I would want to write or draw what I was feeling.

The first time I ever wrote in it was when Dad had left me at Bobby's for the first time. I was six. I was so upset, that I found the tree and spent most of my time in it, drawing in the journal. As I got older, I started writing in it. I opened the journal to the page where I made my first entry. A lot of the words were spelled wrong, like I had sounded them out, but I was able to get the gist of what I wrote.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Dad and Sam are fighting again. I don't know why they always fight. It makes me sad and I cry. But I'm a Winchester. I'm not supposed to cry. So I have to run away to my tree and cry here. I hope they stop fighting._

 _Anna_

I turned to the next page.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Dad is leaving me at Bobby's for the weekend. I think he forgot that he promised he'd take me to the movies. Dean and Sam are going too. I hate being left alone._

 _Anna_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Daddy is so mad at me. I'm going to be in so much trouble when he gets home. I tried to take the city bus into town to see a movie by myself. I guess its against the law for a seven year old to take a bus alone. The cops drove me back to Bobby's and then he called Daddy. Daddy was so mad that he gave the phone to Dean without saying goobye. Dean said I had been really naughty and that I should know better, but he promised me they'd be home by tomorrow, and that he still loved me no matter what. Does Daddy still love me?_

 _Anna_

I skipped a few pages.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Sam left for college last weekend. It was awful. He told Dad that he had got accepted to Stanford and that he was going. Dad got really mad. He told him that he was leaving his family and that if he walked out the door, he was never welcome to come back. They yelled and screamed. I started crying. Dean picked me up and carried me out of the room. We went to a diner. He got me hot chocolate. When we went back to the room both Dad and Sam were gone. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. Dean sat outside the door talking to me until I finally opened it. Then he held me while I cried. I think he wanted to cry, but he's too tough. Everything has been weird since then. Dad has been mean and snappy. Dean has been trying really hard to please him. I've tried to call Sam everyday, but he hasn't answered. I feel like our family is falling apart._

 _Anna_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Dean brought me to the mall yesterday. He brought me to get my haircut. It's beautiful. I got it layered and angled from the front. That's what the hairdresser said anyway. I love it. It's the nicest haircut I've ever had. Then he brought me to get my nails done. I was so excited. I got them painted professionally. There are little pink flowers on every single one! I don't want to do anything because I'm afraid the paint will scratch off. Dean even sat next to me the whole time in the salon. He said it smelled but he still stayed with me. Then he let me buy some new clothes. I bought two new sundresses, a new pair of jeans with sequins on the side, and a purple shirt to go with it. I'm wearing my yellow sundress now. It's a little cool cause it's late September now, and Dean said I should probably wear it with a sweater, but I didn't want to cover it up. I think Dean knew that I was sad yesterday. Ever since Sam left I feel like Dad has been finding more and more things to occupy his time with than us. I hardly ever see him. Since he takes Dean with him on most hunts, I get let alone. But we came to Bobby's for the weekend because he had some stuff for Dad, and Dean had a free day, so he brought me out. I'm not sad now, at least for today. I got to spend the whole day with Dean, so I'm really happy._

 _I think he knew that I needed to spend time with him. He always knows what I need. He takes the best care of me out of anyone, even Dad. I love him so much._

 _Anna_

I closed the journal and leaned my head back against the tree. It made me sad to say it, but I had always loved Dean more than anyone else. Of course I loved Dad and Sam. But Dean and I connected more. He understood me better than Dad did, and he always knew exactly how to make me feel better. I always felt really safe when I was with Dad, but I felt the most loved when I was with Dean.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the screen. My insides lit up immediately when I realized that I had a text from him. I quickly opened the phone and read it.

 _With Sam. Be at Bobby's in a few days. Love you._

Well that was extremely frustrating. There was no useful information in that at all. I hit reply and wrote back.

 _What happened? Why did you send me to Bobby's? Can we talk tonight?_

I closed my phone and set in on my lap. Something had to have happened last night or else he wouldn't have sent me to Bobby's without waking me up and saying goodbye.

I opened up my diary to the last page I had written on. It was probably a little over two years ago that I had written in it. I turned the page one more so that it was blank and wrote,

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Hey. It's been a while. I'm not sure where to start. So much has happened since the last time I wrote. It's been almost four years. So much has changed. Dad died. Almost a year ago. I still have a hard time accepting that he's gone forever. Some mornings I wake up, thinking that I'll see him sitting at the table reading his journal. But it's just Dean. Dean's changed. I used to be able to talk to him about anything. He used to joke around with me. We used to spend time together just hanging out. But I can barely talk to him anymore. He rarely jokes, and we haven't spent time together in almost a year._

 _Sam has magic powers. He can see things before they happen. It scares me. I don't want anything to happen to him, but all these demons want him now. Dean's been trying so hard to keep him safe, that I feel like he's forgotten all about me. I know it's not Sam's fault, but I just wish he was normal so that maybe, just maybe, Dean would be able to spend a little more time with me._

 _Maybe things will get better soon. Maybe Dean will go back to his old self, and Sam will be safe. Maybe my family will feel like a family again. Maybe Dean will realize how much I need him._

 _Anna_

~ . ~

The light was streaming in through my window, shining brightly on my face. I groaned and rolled over, pulling the sheet over my face. Bobby really needed to invest in some curtains or something. I swear the man was allergic to decorating. I closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep. It wasn't working very well, and after a moment, I realized that what had woken me up, was the sound of voices downstairs. Voices, which I knew very well.

I jumped out of bed, nearly throwing my covers to the floor. Sam and Dean were downstairs talking to Bobby. It had been two days already, and I hadn't heard anything from either of them. I didn't even know they would be here. Dean never replied to my text after he told me he was with Sam.

"-demons are surrounding it." Bobby's voice floated up the stairs as I came charging down. They were standing in the library, backs turned to me.

"Dean!" I yelled, skidding into him from behind and nearly knocking him over.

"Son of a bitch." his arms flailed a little as he regained his balance. I hugged him really tight for a second before I saw Sam standing next to him.

"Sam!" I let go of Dean and ran over to him, throwing myself into his arms. He caught me and held me tightly. "Sam, I was so worried! I watched you go into the diner, then you were gone! I was so scared something bad was going to happen to you!"

"It's okay. I'm okay." he assured me. I hadn't realized that I had started crying. I pulled back a little so I could look at him, my gaze slightly accusatory.

"Why didn't you guys come to Bobby's? I thought something really bad happened."

"Sammy needed a little time to heal." Dean interjected. "He got pretty beat up."

I rested my head back down on his chest. He was just as warm and solid as ever. He looked fine too.

"I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too, Shrimp."

"While they have their moment, why don't you help me carry in some books I got in the trunk?" Bobby said to Dean.

"Uh, sure." Dean replied. I gripped tighter onto Sam as I listened to them leave the room.

"It's okay, Anna. I'm not going anywhere." he assured me, stroking my hair. I nestled in closer to him.

"How do we know that, Sam? You just disappeared last time without choice. How do we know it won't happen again?"

"Because. I know."

"I don't believe you." I said quietly. "There's a lot of bad stuff happening. We can't afford to think nothing bad will happen to you again."

Sam pulled back and looked at me, a curious look on his face.

"When did you become so . . . grown up?"

"When I thought I was going to lose the last two family members I had." I blinked at him.

Sam, moved over to the couch to sit down, leading me over. He wrapped his arms around me as I snuggled into him. Dean was a pretty tall guy and I always felt small next to him, but Sam was a giant and he made me feel even smaller. Sometimes it irritated me how small he could make me feel just by being next to me, but right now, I really enjoyed it. Dad always said being tall was the one Winchester trait I would never have.

"There is a lot of bad stuff happening." Sam agreed. "It's dangerous, that's for sure. But we're trying our best to fix it, and as long as you're safe, that's all we care about."

"What's my safety going to mean when you're all dead? What am I going to do then?"

"You don't have to worry about that. Nothing is going to happen to us. But if something does happen, we have people who will take care of you. We would never leave you without anyone to look after you."

The door to the garage opened then closed.

"Bobby, is this really necessary?"

I was out of Sam's lap and into the kitchen faster than it took Ellen to completely swallow her precautionary shot of holy water.

"Ellen! Ellen! Ellen!" I chanted as I hugged her, tears in my eyes. Her arms came down to embrace me in a firm hug. I couldn't believe she was here. All this time she was actually alive. "Why didn't you call us?" I sobbed, pulling back so I could look at her. "Why didn't you let us know you were alive?"

She used her hand to wipe the tears from my face and gave me a sad look.

"I couldn't. It wasn't safe." I stepped into her again, locking my fingers together behind her back.

"Ellen, what happened? How did you get out?" Dean asked, and I could feel him put his hand on the back of my head. I think it was a hint from him to step back and give Ellen some room, so that's what I did. He let me lean back into him so I could look at her, but have his arms around me. Ellen looked at Bobby and held the shot glass out to him.

"Whiskey, now, if you don't mind." Bobby took it and filled it up. She didn't say anything until after she had swallowed the shot, then sank into one of the kitchen chairs. "I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to be there with everyone else. But we ran out of pretzels, of all things. It was just dumb luck. And then Ash called, panicked. He told me to look in the safe. Then the call cut out. By the time I got back, the flames were sky-high. And everybody was dead. I couldn't have been gone more than fifteen minutes"

I leaned a little further back into Dean and gripped his hand. That sounded awful.

"What was in the safe?" Bobby asked. "Or did the demons get to it?"

"They didn't." Ellen replied, pulling something out of her back pocket. She laid it out on the table. Dean moved to see it with Sam and Bobby. I peered in between them, trying to be discreet. If I got too much in their way, Dean would probably shoo me out of the room.

"A map?" I asked. "What's so important about a map?"

Dean pointed to something.

"Wyoming. What does that mean?"

"I don't know. Ash didn't get a chance to tell me anything else and there wasn't a note."

"I bet you this is the big thing that Ash told me he found." Dean said. He shook his head. "Goddammit, Ash. We gotta figure this out. If it was important enough for all those people to die over, then we gotta figure it out."

"Well, let's hit the book." Bobby answered and without waiting, made his way into the library. Ellen reached for the bottle of whiskey and poured herself another shot, then reached her hand out to me. "Come on, we can chat while they try to figure this out."

I eagerly took her hand and walked with her into the living room.

"How have you been, sugar?"

"I've been okay." I shrugged. "I'm going to be thirteen in a few weeks."

"Thirteen, huh? I remember when Jo turned thirteen. She was a right piece of work." Ellen chuckled lightly.

"Is . . . is Jo okay?"

"Jo is fine. Well, as far as I'm aware. She's been off hunting on her own. God help me, I tried to stop her. But I'm glad she was gone. If she got caught in that fire . . ." Ellen trailed off.

"It's hard to lose people. I know."

Ellen put her hand on mine.

"How has your schoolwork been going? All caught up on everything?"

"It's been good." There wasn't much commitment in my voice. "It hard, though. Dean can't really help me with it, and Sam doesn't have the time. It came with instructional DVD lessons, but it's just not working."

"Did you tell Dean that? If homeschooling isn't working, he may have to put you back into public school."

"He won't do that. They travel way too much. He'd have to leave me at Bobby's and Bobby doesn't have the time to take care of me either."

"If that's what you need, they'll find a way, trust me."

"What? You got something?" Sam's voice drifted in from the library. Ellen stood up and I followed.

"All these X's are old 19th century, abandoned frontier churches. They were all built by the same guy. Samuel Colt."

"Samuel Colt?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows at Bobby. "The demon-killing, gun-making Samuel Colt?"

"Yup. And there's more. He built private railways connecting each church. They just so happen," he began to draw lines connecting all the X's. "To lay out, like this."

My mouth dropped open. I recognized what that was.

"That's a devil's trap!" I said, scooting in between Dean and Ellen unable to contain myself.

"A one hundred square mile devil's trap." Sam added.

"That's brilliant. Iron lines, demons can't cross." Dean traced his fingers over the lines Bobby drew. Ellen crossed her arms.

"I've never heard of anything that massive."

"No one has."

"And after all these years, none of the lines are broken? Does it still work?" Dean straightened up.

"Definitely." Sam said immediately. Everyone looked at him. "All those omens that Bobby's found? The demons must be circling it and can't get in."

"Yeah, well they're trying." Bobby sighed.

"Why?" Ellen asked. "What's inside?"

"That's what I've been looking for." Dean said. "I haven't found anything, except an old cowboy cemetery right in the middle."

"What's so important about a cemetery?" Sam asked. "What was Colt trying to protect?"

"Well, unless . . ."

"Unless, what?"

"Unless he wasn't trying to keep something out. What if he was trying to keep something in?"

"That's a comforting thought." Ellen scoffed.

"Could they do it, Bobby?" Sam asked. "Could they get in?"

Bobby shook his head slowly.

"This thing is so powerful, they'd practically need an A-bomb to destroy it. No way a full-blood demon could get across it."

Sam blinked and his face changed.

"No." he said slowly. "But I know who could."

"Who?" Dean demanded.

"Jake." Sam said. "Even I could. We have demon blood in us. That's why the yellow eyed demon wanted us. To use us to get across this."

"We need to get there and stop him. Now." Dean said. Everyone began murmuring in agreement, shuffling around. "Anna, come here."

I walked over to Dean, knowing what was coming.

"You're going to stay here. We'll probably be gone for a day or two, but we'll be back."

"Last time you left me, you didn't come back like you said you would."

"What are you talking about, I'm right here."

"You said you would come right back to me and you didn't. You sent me off with Bobby."

"Anna, I did that because something happened and I needed you to be safe while I took care of it."

"You said Sam needed time to heal. How is that dangerous?"

Dean sighed, running a hand down his face.

"I can't argue with you right now. If you want, we can talk about it more when I get back, but right now I need to get ready to leave. So I'm going to tell you what you're going to do while we're gone. You're going to stay in this house. I don't want you taking a single step outside that front door. Understand me?"

"Yes, Dean." I sighed, looking down at my feet. There was no point in arguing. This was something big, I knew it. It wouldn't do me any good to argue at all.

"Hey, look at me." he tapped his finger under my chin and I raised my eyes to look at him.

"You don't have to do any homework. Just relax, watch some TV, read your books, whatever. You can order pizza from Havarti, but nowhere else. He knows Bobby so he's not gonna ask any questions. His phone number is on the fridge. Everything else you need is in the kitchen. Don't burn the house down. Don't throw a party. Understand?"

"Yes, Dean." I said, a small smile on my face.

"Good." he leaned down and kissed my head. "Be good, sweetheart. We'll call when we can."

"Okay."

Sam ruffled my hair from the back as he walked past.

"Why don't you go make some sandwiches for everyone while we pack?"

"Sure, Dean."

I turned and made my way into the kitchen. I knew he was only asking me to do that to make me feel important and to keep me out from under their feet while they got ready. But it still made me feel good to have him ask me to do something. Even if it was only making sandwiches.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Thirteen. The first official year every person has as a teenager. Usually it's celebrated with a party where you invite all your friends, or a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant. Usually you get some cool gadget like your own laptop or one of those new blackberry phones. Well, for my thirteenth birthday, I got the seven deadly sins. Lucky me.

It's been a few days since then, and I've still yet to receive an actual gift from either of my brothers. I didn't even get a "happy birthday, Anna". I haven't said anything though. I mean, they're my brothers, they should remember my birthday on their own, right? Ellen texted me saying happy birthday, so did Jo, who was probably reminded by Ellen. Bobby called and left a voicemail after we left from the hunt saying that he was sorry he didn't get a chance to tell me in person. But still, nothing from Sam or Dean.

I'm trying not to let it bother me, seeing as we're stuck in the car together on our way to see some old lady friend of Dean's who's been having some weird things happen in her neighborhood. But every time they say my name to get my attention, I get all excited thinking they might just remember that they forgot, only for them to ask how my homework is coming, or if I am hungry or have to pee.

Dean knows I'm frustrated. He keeps glancing back at me in the mirror. But I refuse to tell them why. I want them to figure it out on their own.

~ . ~

"Here we are." Dean said, a big smile on his face as we pulled up in front of a fancy house. He turned to look at Sam who rolled his eyes. "Well, don't wait up for me."

"Ugh, gross." I said.

"I'd say don't knock it til you try it, but you're never going to try it." Dean responded as he opened the door.

"Says you." I countered.

"Yeah, says me." He affirmed sliding out. Sam slid into the driver's seat and I climbed into the seat he vacated. "I'll call you when I'm done."

"Sure." Sam said, then to me, "Buckle up, Shrimp."

I did as he asked and we waited for someone to answer the door.

"So who is this lady?" I asked Sam when the door opened.

"Lisa Braeden. An old friend from a few years back."

"Friend? Sam, I don't think Dean has 'friends' that are women."

Dean turned around to look at us. Sam put the car in reverse, ready to drive away, but Dean flagged him down, motioning to me. I pointed to myself confused and he nodded, motioning for me to go to him. I looked over at Sam who shrugged. I shrugged back and got out of the car, making my way over to Dean.

"Lisa, this is my little sister, Anna."

"Hello, Anna. It's nice to meet you." She smiled.

"Nice to meet you too." I replied, even though I could care less one way or the other.

"It's Lisa's sons birthday today." Dean said. "He's having a party outback, Lisa invited us to join."

"Oh." I said as he led me into the house, following Lisa. Suddenly, my stomach dropped and I felt a lump in my throat. So we were going to celebrate some random kids birthday, but we couldn't celebrate mine? Dean led me through the house to the backyard where there were a bunch of kids running around and a bounce house was set up.

"That's Ben, my son." Lisa said, pointing to a boy younger than me opening a present.

"Yes! AC/DC rules!" he shouted, holding up a CD.

"How old?" Dean asked casually, looking around the yard.

"Eight." Lisa responded, distracted as she looked towards the door. "Could you excuse me for a minute?"

"Sure." Dean answered, then looked at me after she walked away. I stared back at him, not saying anything. "Well. How about some cake?"

"I'm good." I replied slightly testily. He didn't seem to notice though. I stayed by him as he got himself a piece. There were two women sitting in chairs watching him and talking. I could tell they were talking about him, and I think he did too, because he said 'Hi' in an embarrassed tone before walking away quickly. I followed him and we ended up standing next to Ben who was also eating cake and watching the bounce house.

I stood close to Dean and crossed my arms.

"What's up?" Ben said, glancing at Dean.

"What's up with you?" Dean countered. A woman and her daughter walked by. I watched as Dean and Ben both stared at their retreating backsides. I squinted suspiciously at Ben. "So, it's your birthday?"

"Guilty." Ben replied. I rolled my eyes. What a dork.

"It's a cool party." Dean said. I wanted to take his plastic fork and stab myself in the eye. Why couldn't I have just gone with Sam?

"Dude, it's so freakin sweet—and the moon bounce, it's epic."

"Yeah, it's pretty awesome." Dean's eyebrows drew together slightly. I stared at Ben, dumbfounded. Was it possible . . . I shook my head, not willing to believe it.

"You know who else thinks they're awesome? Chicks. It's like hot chick city out there."

My mouth dropped open as Ben put his cake down and ran towards the bounce house saying, "Look out ladies, here comes trouble."

I looked at Dean who seemed to be calculating the exact same thing in his head as I was.

"Anna, stay here for a second." He said before taking off, knocking into the garbage can.

I stood against the fence, mouth still hanging open in shock. If Lisa was an 'old friend' of Dean's, and Ben was her son who was turning eight, with no father figure around, and his obvious interest in rock music, cars, and chicks was any indication of anything, it seemed that Ben was—no. It's impossible. It had to be.

I took another look into the bounce house where Ben was jumping around after the girls. It couldn't be. No. Dean couldn't have a kid. He wouldn't. There was no way in hell Dean would do something like that. I mean, he wouldn't do that to me. He knows he means so much to me, and I couldn't possibly share him. He's all I have. That wouldn't be fair. This Ben kid obviously has a good life. So even if he was Dean's, it's not like he'd need him.

My throat felt like it was getting smaller and my heart raced in my chest. I glanced around at all the kids running around and laughing. I couldn't be here anymore. Without so much as a backward glance at Ben, I ran to the gate leading to the front yard. I didn't stop, even when I hit the street. I just ran. I kept running, heading back towards town the way we had come.

I didn't realize I was crying until it was impossible to see through my tears. My nose was running too, and every breath I took had to be through my mouth, or else snot would just pour out of my nostrils. I felt so betrayed. I was so angry. There were too many things going on inside my head.

I grabbed my head, pulling at my hair and sinking onto the curb. I couldn't lose Dean. Not to him. Not to that spoiled little boy or his mother.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I wiped my eyes on my arm and pulled it out. It was a text from Dean.

 _Where are you? We gotta head out._

He thought I was still at Ben's party. I stood up, shoving my phone back into my pocket as I began walking down the road further away. I was now on the main road heading back toward town. That was where Sam would be, probably at some diner.

If Dean was so insistent on leaving all the sudden, it probably meant his suspicions were right. He was probably freaking out and needed some space to let things sink in. Well, he could let things sink in on his own. I wasn't going to be there to listen to him talk about it or console him or whatever. I definitely wouldn't congratulate him.

My phone began to ring and I knew it was him calling. Part of me wanted to answer and tell him to go jump off a cliff while the other part wanted to ignore it and keep walking. I knew that both of those would probably get me a trip over his knee. The fact that I had left the party without telling him probably meant I already had one coming. So did I want to make things worse, or try and salvage the situation?

The ringing stopped and I knew I made my decision too late. With a sigh, I flipped the phone open and called him back. He answered immediately.

"Where the hell are you?" he demanded. "I've looked everywhere, twice!"

"I'm not there." I said, trying to sound as if I hadn't been crying. It didn't work though.

"Are you crying?" He asked incredulously. "Are you okay? What happened, where are you?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine." His voice was gruff and he sounded irritated, but he started to back track and I could tell he was trying really hard to stay calm. "Anna, sweetheart, please tell me what's going on. I'm worried about you."

"Well don't bother worrying about me." I sniffed angrily. "Why don't you just go hang out with your new friend Ben, I'm sure you two will have a great time together! It's almost like you're the same person, some might go as far to say as it's like your almost related!"

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few moments and I almost thought that Dean had hung up.

"Anna, tell me where you are, now." Dean said, his voice unreadable.

"I'm on the main road back to town." I conceded.

"Don't go any further, wait for me exactly where you are."

"Yes, Dean."

He hung up the phone and I leaned against the stone wall lining the sidewalk. It wasn't long before he came striding into view. I crossed my arms and looked down at my feet, feeling awkward as he came up to me. His toes appeared in my view directly in front of mine. He was standing before me, waiting for me to look at him. It took me a moment, but I finally dragged my gaze up to his.

He reached forward, cupping my face with his hand, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that lingered under my eyes.

"You just got yourself into a whole lot of trouble, over a whole lot of nothing, little girl."

"I'm not a little girl." I replied through a new round of tears. He pulled me into him, hugging me.

"You'll always be my little girl." He insisted. "Even when you scare the crap out of me and run off because that pretty little head of yours gets all these crazy ideas—ideas that aren't true."

I bit my bottom lip, knotting my fingers into the back of his shirt.

"So, Ben . . ."

"He's not mine."

"But what if he was?"

"If he was, we would work it out." He pushed me back so he could look into my face. "No one could ever replace you, you know that, right? You and Sam are the more important to me than anything else on this earth."

"I don't ever want to share you with anyone else."

Dean pulled me into him again, hugging me tight.

"I don't think you're going to have to worry about that." He said softly. I snuggled my face into his shirt, eyes closed as tears continued to leak out.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I got so upset. I was angry and scared, and I couldn't breathe. And-" I trailed off. I was going to mention how the fact that he forgot my birthday and I thought I was at his son's birthday also pissed me off, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to bring that up.

"And what?" He pressed. I held my breath for a moment, debating on whether or not I was going to say it. "Come on, spit it out."

"I was already upset before we even got there because you and Sam forgot about my thirteenth birthday, and then we were at some random kids party who I thought turned out to be your son, and it just sent me over the edge. I couldn't handle it."

Dean was quiet for a moment and I glanced up. He had his eyes closed and his jaw clenched.

"You're right. We did forget. With everything going on since the gates to hell opened, it just slipped our mind, but that's no excuse. I promise we'll make it up to you."

"How about you let me off the hook and we call it even?"

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"How about you be extra good until tonight and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you keep your pants up when I blister your ass."

"Dean!" I whined, trying one last tactic. "I'm a teenager now, you can't spank me anymore!"

"Ha. Good try. Come on. We gotta go meet Sam in town so I can get my baby back."

I groaned, but began walking with Dean as we made our way into town.

Part of me felt better knowing that Ben wasn't Deans. But the other part of me began to wonder what it would be like if Dean did have someone else. Did it make me a bad person for hoping that Ben wasn't Deans? Wasn't Dean allowed to have people in his life other than me? I bit my lip, feeling guilty as I answered my own question with a 'no'. I didn't want Dean to have anyone else.

Sam had left Dean's car parked downtown for us. He said he was doing some research and that we could just take the car. Dean said he wanted to go back to Lisa's because something she said earlier caught his interest.

"Do I have to go?" I whined. "Can't you just drop me off at a motel or something?"

"You're actually asking me to leave you at a motel?" He raised his eyebrows at me. I would be shocked too, if I were him. Usually I begged them to take me with them. But I just didn't want to be near Lisa's. He shrugged. "Alright. If that's what you really want, I'll drop you off."

I sighed, relieved.

~ . ~

Dean left me with the usual instructions not to leave the room or answer the door for anyone. He didn't say that I had to do homework, which was nice. So instead, I laid on one of the beds and watched some tv.

Sam came back first. Dean must have told him what room I was in and gave him a key at some point.

"Hey, shrimp. What's up?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes glued to the tv.

"Dean said there was a case here. Was he right?"

"Yeah, I think we have something going on. Not sure exactly what yet, so I'm going to do some research and hope I get a lead or something."

He sat down at the table and took his laptop out.

"Hey, Sam?" I turned my gaze to him. He made a noise in response, so I continued. "Do you think . . . do you think that Dean will ever want to have kids?"

Sam looked up surprised.

"What?"

"Do you think Dean is ever going to want to have kids? You know, like, a daughter or—a son?"

"I don't think Dean would ever consider bringing a child into this kind of life." Sam responded slowly. "Why?"

"I don't know, I just . . . that kid, Lisa's son. We both thought for a while that he was Deans." Sam raised his eyebrows. "But he's not. But those few minutes where I thought he was—it really upset me."

Sam walked over and sat next to me.

"Why did it upset you?"

"Because." I shrugged. "I don't want to share Dean."

Sam nodded.

"That's understandable." He said. "But even if Ben was Dean's son, you know he wouldn't love you any less. When Dad first went and brought you home with us, Dean spent a lot of time with you. Before you, Dean and I were just as close as you are with him. It was weird for me to have to share him with you. I was a little resentful at first, but then I realized that just because you came along, that didn't mean Dean loved me any less. It just meant that he made more room in his heart to love you just as much."

Sam put his arm around me.

"Dean would never love you less. He would never make you less important than you are. So even if Dean did end up having a kid, it wouldn't change anything."

I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Sam."

"I know things have been hard lately, and you've been feeling neglected. We forgot your birthday and that's inexcusable. But we haven't loved you any less than we ever have."

Sam kissed the top of my head then stood up and went back to doing his research. I bit my bottom lip, feeling a little better, then stood up to go take a shower. Showers usually helped me feel better.

I took a nice long shower, longer than usual. When I finally got out and opened the door to the room, I saw Dean sitting at the table with Sam. I walked over to him and sat down on his lap. He didn't object, so I rested my head against him. He wrapped his arms around me, continuing to talk to Sam like nothing happened. I smiled to myself.

I listened to them talk about the kids of the neighborhood being creepy. Apparently they were what was called "changelings" and they fed on the moms. When Sam had figured out how to kill them, Dean patted my leg for me to get up. I stood up, reluctantly, realizing that where I had my head resting left a wet spot on his shirt from my hair. He didn't seem to care though.

Sam stood up, closing his laptop.

"I'm going to run out to get some kerosene."

Dean tossed the car keys to him and he caught them. I waved goodbye. When I turned back around, Dean was standing behind me with her arms crossed. I knew that look, and immediately began trying to reason with him.

"Dean, please, I didn't mean to run away from the party without telling you-"

He held his hand up, silencing me. I looked down at the floor, knowing what was coming.

"You know the rules, Anna." Dean started. "Running away without telling me because you were having a little temper tantrum doesn't justify what you did."

"I'm sorry, Dean." I said. I didn't want to fight with him. "I shouldn't have left."

"You're right. I can't blame you for being upset, but you put yourself in danger by leaving. You may be thirteen now, but that still doesn't make it alright for you to be wandering around a town you don't know by yourself."

I bit my bottom lip, not sure what to say.

"I don't know what it is about this rule that you have such a hard time grasping. I've been fighting you on it for a long time now. Don't go running into danger without thinking."

"I was just going down the road, Dean." I said softly. "It's not like I was running into a room full of demons."

"Regardless. There's something going on in that neighborhood. You could have been picked up by a changeling. We don't know where the other kids are, or if they're even alive. That could have been you."

I looked up into his face. The concern and hurt in his eyes immediately made me start to cry. I had been so worried all day about losing Dean to someone else, and I hadn't even thought about how Dean would feel if he had ever lost me.

"I'm sorry." I wept, burying my face into my hands. I could hear the sound of Dean undoing his belt and sliding it through his jeans. I didn't bother trying to change his mind. I felt his hand on my shoulder and I let him guide me to the table, where he bent me over. True to his word, he let me keep my pants up. Not that it helped much. The ten licks he gave me seemed to be just as painful as if he had taken my pants down.

I didn't say anything during the whole thing, but when he was done, I let him pull me into his arms.

"I'm sorry!" I said once again.

"I know." He said into the top of my head. "You're forgiven."

I didn't let go for a while, and he didn't ask me to either, which made me feel better.

"I promise Sam and I will do something special for you tomorrow."

"Okay."

He pulled back and wiped my face with his thumbs.

"Why don't you get in bed? I brought you a movie to watch tonight."

I smiled and climbed into the bed I had claimed earlier. Dean pulled a dvd out of one of his bags and put it into the dvd player. I snuggled under the covers, not caring that my butt was tender, and began watching the movie while Dean started getting ready to go out with Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

It was early in the morning when I heard the door open to the motel room. I crack my lids open and saw Sam enter, closing the door behind him. I groaned and rolled onto my back.

"Where's Dean?"

"Hey, Shrimp." Sam talked in a hushed voice. "He's bringing Ben back to Lisa's then he'll be back. It's still really early, why don't you go back to sleep?"

"Dean's okay?"

"He's perfectly fine." Sam replied, coming over to pull the covers up and tuck them around me a little. He brushed the hair from my face and smiled. "Get a few more hours of sleep, then Dean and I will take you out for your special day."

"Okay." I rolled over, smiling. That was right. Dean said that Sam and him would take me out to do something special today for my birthday. I closed my eyes and snuggled into the covers, letting sleep take over me again.

"Shhh. You can't be here." Sam's hushed voice pulled me from my slumber. "My sister is sleeping right there. If she wakes up and finds you here, I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do and I doubt I could keep you a secret from Dean, then."

My curiosity was officially peaked. I remained completely still, forcing myself to breathe even as if I hadn't been woken up.

"What is your deal?" Sam continued. "You show up wherever I am. You know all about me. You know all about my mom."

"I already told you," A female's voice interrupted him, and it took everything I had in me not to roll over so I could look to see who it was.

"Oh right. You're just a hunter who happens to know more about my own family than I do. Just tell me who you are."

Another hunter? I didn't know Sam was working with another hunter. Why would he be working with another hunter? On top of that, why does she know all about our family? I know that word travels and there are a lot of hunters that know about us, but what does she know that is making Sam sound so on edge?

"It doesn't matter." the female voice said, trying to brush Sam's question off.

"Tell me who you are." Sam reiterated, and I could tell he was having a hard time keeping his voice down.

"Sam-"

"Just. Tell. Me. Who. You. Are." Sam's voice took on a deadly tone as he lowered it, enunciating every word. It gave me chills to hear him talk like that. There was a moment of silence before I could hear the sound of Sam gasping.

"Think twice before going for that holy water." The female said, and once again, I tried my hardest not to move. Holy water? That meant whatever she was, she wasn't human. Chills crept down my spine as I felt the instinct to roll over so my back wasn't turned.

"Just give me one reason I should." Sam whispered.

"I'm here to help you Sam."

Help? Help with what?

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"God's honest truth, or whatever."

"You're a demon."

I bit down on my lip, holding the shocked breath that tried to makes its way out of my mouth. Sam was working with a demon? It sounded like he hadn't known she was a demon, but why was he working with her in the first place? And apparently it was a secret and Dean knew nothing about it . . . but I did.

"Don't be such a racist. I'm here because I want to help you. And I can. If you can trust me."

"Trust you?" Sam scoffed.

"Sam, calm down."

"No. I won't calm down. We need to talk, but you need to leave, right now. I'm not risking the chance that you might wake my sister up."

Well it was too late for that, I thought.

"Well, you better call me. Because I think I can save your brother."

There was a long silence before Sam spoke again.

"Leave. I'll get in contact with you when I can."

"Fine."

The door to the room opened, then closed. I rolled over, acting like I had just been woken up.

"Dean?"

Sam jumped, turning around to face me. I kept my face as neutral as possible. I didn't want him to know that I had heard anything . . . yet.

"No, still me." Sam replied. "Dean will be here in a little bit. Why don't you start getting ready so we can leave when he gets here, mhm?"

"Okay." I threw the covers off my legs and stood, stretching my arms and yawning. "I had the weirdest dream."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I had a dream that you were working with a demon to save Dean. But that's just silly, because why would you need to work with a demon and why would Dean need to be saved?"

Sam's face turned white as I cocked my head to the side.

"That . . . does sound like a strange dream." he said slowly. I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Don't lie to me Sam. I want you to tell me what that was all about, and if I even _think_ you're lying to me, I'm going to go straight to Dean and tell him all about your little meeting with the demon lady."

Sam looked like he was about to tell me off, but he knew how precarious his situation was, so he ran a hand over his face instead.

"Anna, you weren't supposed to know about Ruby."

"No shit."

"Whoa, alright." Sam held a hand up. "You may have leverage on me right now, but that doesn't mean you get to speak to me that way. You want to use blackmail, fine. But I have blackmail on you too, little girl. We both have our secrets we want to keep from Dean."

"You don't have anything on me!" I countered, bluffing. Sam crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"So, last week, the day before I was taken by demons, and we were all at that little farmers market, you didn't happen to slip that hunting knife into your backpack after Dean said you couldn't have it?"

I clenched my jaw. I didn't think Dean or Sam were paying attention to me when I took it.

"Or," Sam continued, "When we got back from our hunt that night and Dean told you to be in bed by ten. If I recall correctly, we pulled into the parking lot at three in the morning, and I'm pretty sure I saw you rushing across the room to turn off the tv and then jump back into bed. That would explain why you were so cranky in the car that day."

"Well at least I'm not working with demons!" I snapped back. "I think Dean will be a little more interested to hear that than to hear that I stole a knife or stayed up past my bed time."

"Yeah." Sam shrugged. "But my ass isn't the one that's going to get tanned for it."

I scowled at him. He was right. If he told Dean about the knife, and he found it in my bag, he would definitely tan my ass for it. He'd probably scold me for staying up past my bed time and give me stricter guidelines for the next week if he found out that I was up at three in the morning when I was supposed to be sleeping by ten.

"Fine." I sank onto the edge of the bed with a huff. "I'll be nice, but I still want to know what's going on, or I will tell him and just take the consequences of you telling him my secrets."

"Fine." Sam sat down at the table and looked at me. "Ruby is helping me find a way to get Dean out of a crossroads deal that he made."

"Why did Dean makes a crossroads deal?"

"You know, if I tell you this, you _cannot_ tell him that I told you. You can't mention anything about it, or let on that you know. I don't think he was planning on telling you just yet."

"I won't say anything!" It was rare that I was told anything special, so having a secret, especially one that I had to keep from Dean, was kind of exciting.

"When Dean and Bobby went to save me, they got to me just a little too late. I was stabbed in the back, and . . . I died."

"What?" I covered my mouth with my hand. That was not what I was expecting at all. "You died?"

"Yeah."

"And no one told me?"

"Dean sent you to stay with Bobby while he took my body and began looking for a way to bring me back. He made a deal with a crossroads demon and . . ."

"What, Sam? Come on, you have to tell me!"

"I really don't think I should." Sam said clenching his jaw. He looked conflicted.

"Sam! You have to! What happened?"

"The deal was that I would be brought back to life . . . in exchange for Dean's soul."

"What does that mean? What do they want with his soul?"

"It means," Sam sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Again, you cannot say anything to Dean or let on that you know this."

"Tell me!" I practically shouted, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I had a feeling that it was something bad. Something really, really bad.

"It means that Dean only has one year left to live."

My world shattered. My heart stopped. My vision went black. My hearing had gone. It was just me, alone, in the dark, an awful weight crushing upon me. Dean. Gone. One year.

" . . . Anna . . ."

I was numb. Numb from my skin, all the way inside of myself to the core.

" . . . Anna . . ."

One year and he would be gone. One year and I would have lost the only person that has ever been there for me no matter what. One year and Dean would be gone forever.

"Anna!"

I was being shaken back to reality by Sam's strong hands. Feeling came back to my body and soul. I could hear again. I could see. My heart was beating, pounding loudly in my ears. But my world remained shattered. Sam had tears in his eyes. Actual tears. I hadn't seen Sam cry in . . . I couldn't remember how long. My finger tips were wet, I realized, as I had reached my hand out to touch the tear that had started to trickle down his face.

"Anna, look at me." Sam said shaking me again. I forced my eyes to find his. I saw him. But I didn't really _see_ him. Yes, there was Sam, sitting in front of me, but my mind couldn't seem to grasp the concept of what or who Sam actually was. "I'm going to fix this. I'm going to find a way to save him, to break the deal."

"Shh." I said, putting my finger to his lips. He stopped talking. "I won't say anything. Don't worry."

I stood up, still in a trance like state. He stood up, running a hand through his hair again. He wiped his eyes with his other hand and watched me as I wandered into the bathroom. I stopped in the doorway, turning to look at him.

"I'm going to take a shower. When Dean gets here . . . send him away, until . . . until I can look at him."

I closed and locked the door, leaning against it for a moment, before moving to turn the shower on. It was like my hands weren't my own. Everything they did seemed strange, like I wasn't asking them to do that, that they just knew what needed to be done and did it for me. They unbuttoned my sleeping top, and untied the waistband of my pajama pants. They adjusted the water temperature until it was hot. Hotter than normal. Then my feet carried me into the shower, holding me under the stream of scalding water, until I wasn't sure whether my face was wet from tears, or the water.

Sam died. Dean sold his soul.

Dean was going to die. Sam was working with a demon.

Dean told Sam. Sam told me. Dean didn't tell me.

Dean was going to die.

Dean didn't tell me.

There was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Anna?" It was Dean's voice, and it sounded urgent. "Sweetheart, please come out so I can talk to you."

I didn't answer. I realized that I had at some point sat down, knees bent to my chest so that I was hugging them to me as I sat under the stream of water.

"Sam told me that . . ." His voice sounded broken, like he was trying to fit to many emotions into one sentence. "He told me that he told you about the crossroads deal."

Why would Sam do that? Why would he admit to Dean that he told me when Dean told him not to?

"Anna? Answer me. Anna?" his voice became more urgent, and then the door burst open. I flinched, but didn't move. The shower curtain was thrown to one side and Dean was standing over me. The stream of hot water ceased, and a white towel wrapped itself around me as Dean lifted me to my feet. Dean secured the towel and picked me up, one arm supporting my back, the other supporting behind my knees.

He brought me out into the room, setting me on the bed. He brushed my wet hair back from my face and looked into my eyes.

"Anna," he sounded like his heart was breaking into a million pieces. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I didn't know what else to do. He was dead."

"You were supposed to think about me." I said. "You were supposed to think about what would be better for me. Sam can't take care of me. Not like you. Bobby can't take care of me. Ellen can't take care of me. You're the only one that can take care of me. You're the only person that understands me, that gets me."

"Anna," Dean shook his head, looking down at the floor, lost for words.

"I think, I'm just going to spend today by myself. I need to work out what I'm feeling. I don't want to be with you, or Sam." I could feel my face begin to crumple as I tried to hold my sobs back. "I just need to be alone."

Dean reached forward to touch my face, but I jerked away.

"Please. Go."

I didn't even look up to see the pain that my words caused him. I stared down into my lap, my wet hair dripping onto the tops of my thighs.

"I'll call you. When I'm ready."

"Don't leave this room." It was more of a plea, than an order. "I'll be across the street at the diner with Sam."

I nodded. He put his hands on my shoulders and stood up.

"Call me." he said, and left the room. I sat on the bed after the door clicked shut, using my towel to hold myself together. But eventually, I broke and slumped onto my side as I cried.

 **Woo! I'm on a roll lately. So, I would just like to point out that I went to the Toronto Convention for Supernatural and got to meet JENSEN AND JARED! OMG! Super awesome. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this depressing chapter :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

It had been a rough few months since I learned that Dean had sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead. I refused to talk to either of them for days after I learned what happened. Dean got really worried about me, so he and Sam brought me to Bobby's where we stayed for a few days. I think he was hoping that the three of us being together would help me accept what was going on.

When we got to Bobby's, I locked myself in my room—or tried to, at least. Bobby had the key so whenever they wanted to get in the room they just unlocked it. So instead, I found a spare bolt lock in the garage and installed it on the back of my closet door. When they wanted to come into my room, I went into the closet and locked myself in. They didn't have a key for that. I guess they realized that it was best to leave me by myself because after a few times of trying to get me to come out of the closet, they finally let it go and let me be.

After I was done being mad, I got really sad. On the fourth day at Bobby's, I finally left my room. I went downstairs to find Dean, but he wasn't there. Neither was Sam or Bobby. I looked in the basement, the garage, the junk yard, and even in the safe room. I couldn't find them anywhere. Then I lost it. I started to have a panic attack. I couldn't breathe. My eyes were so filled with tears I couldn't see the buttons on my phone to call Dean. I couldn't even walk.

When Dean found me a few minutes later, I was slumped on the floor against the wall, shaking, covered in sweat. When he tried to help me up to bring me back to the house, I had become so overwhelmed with nausea, that I vomited all over myself, the floor, and even on Dean. He yelled for Sam, who came running down. I'd never seen either of them look so frightened for me.

They brought me to the hospital. By the time we got there, I felt okay, but the doctor wanted to run some tests on me to make sure it wasn't anything serious. Dean sat with me while they ran an EKG and bloodwork. I hated every minute of it. When they were certain that it wasn't anything serious and just a panic attack, they prescribed me some pills and sent me home.

I could barely look at Dean the whole time. I couldn't speak. How was I supposed to tell him that I had a panic attack because I thought something happened to him, when I know that he's going to die anyway?

When we got home, Dean made me take one of the pills. I tried to refuse. I didn't want it. But then he said something that really hurt me. He said "Damnit, Anna, I'm not dead yet. You still have to listen to me." He was almost crying, too. I could see it. His eyes were glossy, his jaw clenched as he fought back the feelings.

So I took it. Because I was going to start crying too. And I didn't want to cry. So I took it. Then I flushed the rest down the toilet.

When we finally went back on the road, I felt different. I was talking to them. Not a lot, but a little bit. If I wanted something, I'd tell them. If I needed something, I'd ask. If they asked me a question, I'd answer. I hardly argued. I didn't protest when they'd leave me at a motel. But I wasn't quite because I was sad, anymore. I was quite, because I was planning.

~ . ~

"I don't understand, Dean. Why not?"

"Because I said so." Dean retorted, his fist gripping the wheel of the Impala angrily. Sam and Dean had been going back and forth at each other for the past hour about using the Colt to get Dean out of the crossroads deal.

I had one earbud in, half listening to music, and half listening to their argument. I didn't bother trying to give my input, because I knew how that would end. I figured I'd just let Sam take the brunt of it. He was trying so hard lately to get Dean out of the deal. Better for Dean to be mad at him than me. It actually helped me out that Sam was being such a pain about the deal to Dean. It kept Dean's attention off me.

I'd been working on getting in contact with a hunter who has been known to train other hunters. I found out about him while we were at Ellen's one weekend. There were a lot of hunters in the bar. I got talking to a few hunters, asking them how they became hunters. Most of them replied with the 'family business'. Some, 'a monster killed my _insert family member here_ '. There was one guy though—a younger hunter, that said he had a retired hunter teach him. I asked how he knew how to find someone like that, and he said that it was a lucky accident. But he gave me his number and said that I might be able to convince him to take me in too.

The first time I called him, I left a voicemail, then waited for two weeks. Then I called him back and left another voicemail. So far, I've left him four voicemails.

"Yes, because I said so!" Dean's angry yell made me jump so violently that he glanced back at me in the mirror. I had been so engrossed in my own thoughts that his raised voice startled me.

"Well you're not dad!" Sam yelled back.

"No, but I am the oldest, and I'm doing what's best. And you're going to let this go, you understand me?" Dean glared at him for a moment, before returning his attention back to the road. He had that tone, the one that if he were talking to me, I wouldn't say another word because I knew I'd be getting my ass handed to me the second I did. But Sam was smart, and he just turned his head to glare out the window.

"You okay, Anna?" Dean asked gruffly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied. "I have to go to the bathroom though, can we stop somewhere?"

"Yeah, we can do that."

Good. Because I had just gotten a voicemail on my phone and I needed to listen to it in private.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six:

I closed the bathroom door behind me, making sure to lock it. Dean has been known to walk in on me before for taking too long, though, he hasn't done it in years, I still wasn't willing to risk it. I stood in front of the sink, resting my hip on the edge while I put my phone up to my ear, dialing to my voicemail.

"If you're serious about learning how to hunt, meet me in Ridgeville, Indiana in two days, at six p.m. I'll be at the only diner in town, sitting in the corner booth. If you're not there by six ten, I'm walking."

The voicemail ended as abruptly as it started, leaving me feeling dumbstruck. I redialed and listened again. Two days. Indiana. Six p.m. How the hell was I supposed to pull that off when we were heading to Maple Springs, NY? It would be a several hour drive at least, and I had no car, or money to afford a cab there.

I tried to call the number back, but it went straight to voicemail. I pulled a small piece of paper out of my pocket and wrote down as small as I could the instructions he left before deleting the voicemail from my phone. I stuffed the paper back into my pocket deep enough that I was sure it wouldn't fall out.

Two days to find a way to get to Indiana without Dean or Sam finding out, or catching me. I stared at myself in the mirror. Plain Jane as always.

"You can do this." I told myself. "You'll find a way. You're a Winchester."

I jumped as someone knocked on the door. I quickly unlocked the door and stepped out. A woman half smiled an apology at me and I ducked away. Dean was leaning against the car door eating a bag of chips while Sam sat inside.

"You want anything?" He asked. I shook my head and slid into the car. Dean shrugged and followed suit.

I pulled my pillow out of my bag and propped it against the door, laying down. My brain was already planning.

~ . ~

When we finally got to town it was almost three in the morning. Dean found a motel and pulled in. Sam went inside to get us a room while Dean and I got all of our bags together.

"So, why are we here?" I asked as we leaned against the trunk, waiting for Sam.

"Werewolf, I think." Dean replied, scratching the back of his head before crossing his arms. "At least that's what it sounded like. If that's the case, we have two days to find this thing before the full moon hits and then it won't change again for a month."

"Two days?" I repeated, something inside of me brightening. In two days, when I should be in Indiana, they will be too busy hunting a werewolf to be too distracted with me.

"Yup."

"So, I'll be stuck in this room for two days?"

Dean reached over and ruffled my hair.

"Sorry, kiddo. Maybe you can go to the library, keep yourself busy."

"Maybe." I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't want to seem too eager. Dean would suspect something then.

Sam came back, jingling the keys. We followed him to our room. When we were all finally in bed with the lights off, I laid awake, thinking. Soon, I could hear soft snores coming from both of my brothers. It was a comforting sound, one I had grown used to. It used to put me to sleep, but now it kept me awake. Some night's I'd stay up as long as I could, just listening to the sound of Dean snoring. Tonight, I let that fuel my determination to find a way to get to Indiana.

~ . ~

I sat in the Library the next day while Sam and Dean were investigating. I had woken up at ten and went through my morning routine of showering and getting dressed in a zombie-like state. My eyes had bags under them from only getting a few hours of sleep. By the time I was ready to go to the library, it was almost noon. I stopped at the diner on the way there and got a sandwich and drink to bring with me to snack on.

Ever since I started talking again and acting like an actual human, Dean has been letting me do my homework at the libraries rather than staying in the motel room. He's been letting me do a lot of things different lately, and I think it's because he feels guilty, like he owes me something for the deal he made to save Sam. It was weird, because I had gotten so used to the strict, stick-to-the-plan Dean, that having these new freedoms was almost sad in a way. But it was giving me the alone time that I needed to put my plans into action.

I had been looking up on the computer the different ways to get to Indiana. Trains and buses were questionable because they didn't get close enough to where I needed to go, and the times didn't match up. A cab was going to cost me nearly fifteen hundred dollars just to get there. I could drive myself, but that would require stealing a car, and I definitely would not want to deal with Dean after stealing a car and driving six hours to another state.

I also had to come up with an excuse for why I was out there. The only problem with that, was the population of Ridgeville was around eight hundred people. There was nothing out there worth going to see. Bobby's house was twelve hours from there. If I could get there, and then get to Bobby's, I could just say that I was tired of being left alone, lay the guilt trip on them, and possibly get in just a little bit of trouble. It was a long shot though. But it was my best bet.

~ . ~

I had stolen one of Dean's credit cards and used it at the diner the day I was catching a bus to Indiana. I took one thousand dollars. That would be plenty for my ticket, cab fare, and the train to Bobby's. Sam and Dean were going back to the hospital to talk to the doctor. It was almost ten in the morning. I left from the diner and went straight to the bus station. It took me almost an hour to walk there, and I got there just in time to catch the bus.

I packed my bag with all my clothes and stuff, that way it would make sense when they came to get me at Bobby's that I didn't just go there without my things. I wore a baseball cap, putting my hair up through the back and pulling it low over my face so that I'd be less likely to be caught on camera at an angle easy enough for them to find so quick. Though, I knew Dean would be able to pick me out of an image that was blurry and only had my elbow in the frame.

When I got on the bus, I put my headphones in and began listening to my iPod. I left a note for Dean and Sam at the motel saying that I was going to the library, and that I saw there was a park downtown that I might walk around if it was nice weather out and that I would be back by dark. Being summer, it wouldn't get dark until around seven fifty at night. At that point, I'll hopefully be getting ready to make my way to Bobby's, and hopefully, they won't notice something is wrong before then.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven:

Four hours into the trip, I finally got a text from Dean. My heart began to beat in my chest and my palms started sweating before I even opened it. Everything in me was convinced that he had figured it out. It took me a full minute just to work up the courage to open my phone, and then another minute to open the text.

 _Running into some problems with the case. Be home late. Don't stay out past dark._

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I quickly texted him back saying, _Okay, be safe._ It was the safest thing I could think to respond with. If I said "Okay, I won't" then he might take that as me lying, and I didn't need to give him more reasons to be pissed at me. Once the text was sent, I rested my head against the window. Three more hours. I just had to make it three more hours and then I'd be in Ridgeville.

~ . ~

As the cab driver pulled up in front of the diner, I felt a weird sense of foreboding creep into the pit of my stomach. It was five thirty. I still had thirty more minutes until I was supposed to meet the man in the diner. It hit me then, as I thought about it, that I didn't even know his name. I had no idea who this person was, other than he was a man who used to be a hunter. My palms began to sweat. Dean was going to be so pissed if he ever found out that I went running into this without really thinking it through. But I didn't have a choice. He gave me an ultimatum of two days. I didn't have time to think it through.

"This is where you wanted to go, right?" The cab driver brought my attention back to the present. He was turned around, one around draped across the passenger headrest so he could see me. He had an eyebrow raised and I felt like he knew exactly what I was up to.

"Yes." I replied. "How much do I owe you?"

He pointed to the dash where the fare was displayed. I dug into my bag and pulled out the money, making sure to give him a decent tip.

"Thank you." I said, opening to the door. I slung my backpack onto my back and grabbed my duffel bag, holding it limply by my side as I closed the taxi door behind me. I waited for him to leave before turning to face the diner. My feet seemed to be stuck in place, but my mind was telling me to go. Just as I was about to take a step, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Dean.

 _Case closed. Heading back to the motel. You still at the library?_

I stared at the text, feeling my stomach drop. If they were on their way back to the motel room, then that would mean I could only buy myself about another thirty minutes to an hour of time before Dean started to get on my case about me getting back, and once he realized I wasn't coming back, then he would start calling and go out searching for me. If I was brave, I could ignore his texts and calls for a little while. But it's hard to be brave when you have the thought of an angry Dean to deal with.

Making my decision, I closed my phone and stuffed it back in my pocket and walked into the diner. My eyes swept across the diner, then rested on the corner booth where he described he would be waiting, and sure enough, there was a man sitting there, his eyes meeting mine. I turned and slowly made my way over to him.

He was an older man, with graying hair and an even coating of stubble along his jawline and chin. His face seemed weathered with some wrinkles, but his eyes were a bright blue that seemed to pierce through me with a sense of knowing. I slid into the booth across from him without a word, waiting for him to speak first.

"Anna?" He asked, his voice deep and gruff, just like on the voicemail. I nodded. His jaw clenched and unclenched a few times before he shook his head. "No. I'm not doing it."

My mouth dropped open.

"What?" I demanded. "Why? You haven't even given me a chance to explain anything!"

"You're too young."

"I bet you were younger than me when you started." I countered defiantly.

"Where are your parents?" his voice remained calm.

"They're dead."

"Guardians?"

"My two older brothers. They're on a hunt in New York."

"And they don't know you're here." It wasn't a question. I shook my head, holding his gaze, refusing to back down. I wanted this too much. He was silent for a moment and I could tell he was thinking. "What makes you think that I would risk my neck to teach you, when it could cause me a whole lot of trouble if your brothers ever found out?"

"Because they won't."

His jaw clenched one more time. His hands were folded together on the table as he leaned forward a little. His eyes moved to the duffel bag and backpack that I had sitting on the floor beside the table, then they swept back to me.

"I'm sorry." He said, leaning back and crossing his arms. "I won't do it. You're not giving me a good enough reason."

"Bullshit!" I said before I could stop myself. My face had flushed red. I was mad, but now I was getting embarrassed. He was treating me like a child. "I spent seven hours traveling from New York all the way here to see you because you gave me a two day window. I had to steal money from my older brother, and let me tell you, when he finds out that I'm gone there will be hell to pay. I'm going to get into so much trouble for this, but I don't care, because it'll be worth it if you agree to train me! You wanted to know if I was serious about this, well here I am. I'm serious. I want this. I know that hunting isn't glamorous. I know it's dangerous. I've grown up with a family of hunters. But they care about me too much to teach me. They'll never give me the freedom I deserve to make my own choices."

"Hunting isn't a choice. It's a lifestyle. Very few people who go into it ever get out. Is that a commitment you're willing to make?"

"Yes." I said without hesitation. "My mother was killed by a shifter."

I wasn't planning on going into my whole family story with him. But if he wanted a reason, then I would give them to him.

"I wasn't even in kindergarten. My dad came to get me, and my two older brothers took care of me ever since. I've been dragged all across the country, stuck in motel rooms, stuck in the car, stuck with friends while they go out and hunt. A year ago my dad was killed by the yellow eyed demon when the gates of hell opened. And-"

"Wait." He held up a hand, interrupting me. "Your John Winchester's daughter?"

I paused, looking at him. Sometimes people would say that, and it wouldn't be a good thing. My dad was a pretty popular hunter, but not always in a good way. But this man didn't seem to have any anger or resentment in his eyes, so I nodded slowly.

"So the two older brothers you're talking about must be Dean and Sam."

I nodded again, this time slower. He didn't say anything. I bit my bottom lip, wondering if I should tell him about Dean. I let the thought swim around my head for a little, before I finally relented and spoke.

"Dean is going to die. Sam got hurt a few months ago—well, he died. Dean made a deal with a crossroads demon. His soul, for Sam's life back. Dean only has a few months left. Sam's been trying to find ways to get him out of it, but I don't think he'll find a way. Dean doesn't either." Tears began to brim in my eyes. I hated thinking about Dean's impending death. I wiped angrily at my eyes, glaring at the man across from me. Hating him for making me feel these things, even though I knew it wasn't really his fault.

"Dean has been there for me from the beginning. He's the one who raised me. When he dies . . . I need to be able to take care of myself. And I want to carry on with the family business."

The man across from me was silent for a moment, before he raised his hand and signaled to the waitress. She came over a moment later and asked if she could get us anything.

"I'll have a coffee. She'll have a hot chocolate."

"Sure thing, Jack." The waitress smiled and bounced away.

The man—Jack, didn't talk until the waitress came back without drinks. Once he picked up his cup and took a careful sip from it, he finally looked at me a spoke.

"I worked with your family on a hunt once, many years ago, before you were even born. John was one of the best hunters I've ever come across. Dean was good too, especially for being so young."

I didn't respond. What was I supposed to say to that?

"I'm sorry to hear about Dean's situation. I can tell you from my experience that there is nothing you can do about it."

Another short silence. Where was he going with this? All I wanted was an answer.

"I've only trained two other hunters that I thought were worth my time. It's not easy. It's not fun. You're not going to show up and go out and get your first monster and be a hunter in a week's time. You're going to spend weeks training—weapons training, agility training, combat training, research. You won't go out on your first hunt for weeks, maybe months, until I think you're ready."

"I don't care. I still want to do it."

"You'll have to change your name, your appearance, you won't get to be in contact with anyone you knew before coming to train."

I paused. I wouldn't get to talk to Sam or Bobby? I figured I wouldn't talk to them much, because I didn't want them to find out what I was doing, but I thought maybe I could send a letter now and then, or call from an untraceable phone.

"You will be pushed to your limits and then pushed some more. If I feel like you're not committed to the training or you won't succeed, then I have the right to send you home at any time."

He was trying to scare me. Trying to make me rethink what I wanted. But that wouldn't work. I've wanted it for too long.

"I want it." I insisted. I still hadn't touched the hot chocolate he ordered for me. My phone had vibrated in my pocket two times since I had sat down, but I refused to take it out and look at it while I was trying to convince him.

"Alright." He said after a few more moments of silence. "I know you have a good line of hunting genes in you. I'm sure you won't disappoint me. I'm not one hundred percent confident that this is a great idea, but I'm willing to take a chance on you. The world needs good hunters, we're losing too many of them."

He picked his coffee up and took another sip. I held my breath, waiting.

"Don't call my number form your cell phone again. Don't contact me in any way that your brothers can trace. Use a payphone or a public phone when they're not around. When your brother only has two weeks left, call me. We'll start planning more then."

I nodded, the excitement at his words making my head bounce up and down much faster than normal. He had said yes. He was going to train me. I was going to be a hunter. My plan was working.

My phone began to buzz in my pocket over and over, letting me know that I was getting a phone call. Even that didn't bring me down.

"Thank you so much." I said, trying to keep my voice at a lower level as not to draw attention. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." He replied, standing up. "We'll see how you feel a few days after you start training."

He dropped a ten dollar bill on the table before nodding his head to the waitress as he left. She waved good-bye, stopping over to pick up the money and ask if there was anything else I wanted. I shook my head, in shock.

My phone began to buzz again. Shaking myself out of my stupor, I pulled it out and answered it without really thinking about what I was going to say or what Dean might say.

"Where the hell are you?" Were the first words out of his mouth. A very Dean-like thing to say. He sounded angry, as to be expected.

"Um, I'm in the diner." I replied, not sure how else to answer.

"Why haven't you answered any of my texts or calls?"

"My phone was on silent."

"Susannah-" Oh, there it was. My first name. I really was in deep shit. "Tell me where you are right now or so help me God I will haul your ass over my knee the second I find you and I don't care if it's in the middle of a diner."

"Dean, I just told you where I was." I replied.

"Don't play games with me, little girl!" His voice had suddenly risen to a shout. "The GPS tracker on your phone says you're not in Maple Springs. It says you're in Ridgeville, Indiana!"

My face began to heat up. Now that I had gotten my answer from Jack about being trained, the excitement was quickly wearing off and it was now starting to sink in just how much trouble I was in.

"Dean-"

"Don't you 'Dean' me." He growled. "Why are you in Indiana?"

"I—I—Uh," I stuttered, trying to find the words to use.

"Spit it out, Susannah!" Boy, was he mad.

"I'm on my way to Bobby's!" It came out so fast I wasn't even sure if he understood it. There was a brief pause before he answered.

"You're going to Bobby's?" the disbelief in his voice was obvious.

"Yeah. I—I just got so tired of being stuck by myself. It's hard to be alone all the time. It can't stop thinking about what's going to happen to you." That wasn't a complete lie. It was hard to be alone.

I could hear Dean sigh over the phone and there was a short silence where he was trying to pull himself together.

"Stay where you are. Sam and I are on our way to get you. We'll talk about this when we get there."

I looked at the clock on the wall of the diner. The train that I was planning on taking to Bobby's was going to be leaving the station in one hour.

"I'll meet you at Bobby's."

"Anna-" Dean began to warn me.

"I'm getting on a train right now. I don't want to stay here for six hours by myself. I'll see you at Bobby's."

With that, I hung up the phone . . . and then I turned it off.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight:

When I got onto the train, I pulled out my pillow and blanket and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible. The train ride was about twelve hours long, so I wouldn't be getting into Sioux Falls until close to eight thirty in the morning. I was hoping that I would get there with just enough time to get to Bobby's, saving myself the public embarrassment of Dean picking me up along the road somewhere.

Bobby's house was about an hour and a half walk from the train station. I wasn't looking forward to lugging my backpack and duffel bag the whole way there. I _really_ wasn't looking forward to facing my brothers.

It had been almost an hour and a half since I turned my phone off after speaking with Dean. Part of me wanted to turn it back on and see if they had sent me any messages or voicemails, but the other half of me was too scared. I didn't want to know exactly what I had to look forward to when I saw them. I didn't want to sit here for hours just thinking of what was in store for me. I had a pretty good idea already.

I fluffed my pillow up against the window, trying to convince myself that no matter how much trouble I got it, it would still be worth it in the end.

The train horn sounded, and a moment later the train began to pull slowly away from the station. It was dark outside now, and once we had cleared the platform, the only lights I could see where from the town on the other side of a line of trees. I rested my head against my pillow, watching dark shapes go by. I was beginning to feel really tired. But it was so early still, that I almost felt like I needed to fight it.

I tried, but I didn't win.

~ . ~

I had strange dreams that woke me up several times during the night, but not for long. The motion of the train put me right back to sleep and all my worries that popped into my head the second I was awake were gone again.

The fourth time I woke up, it was almost eight in the morning. I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes. My neck was a little sore from being bent all night. I stretched and yawned, willing myself to wake up. Taking a moment to look outside and see the scenery passing by, I recognized it as South Dakota. It's funny how after traveling so much, you can start to tell the difference in places by the landscapes.

Figuring I might as well try to make myself look a little presentable, I grabbed my hair brush and toothbrush from my bag and headed to the bathroom. I wet my hair so that the bedhead half of it would flatten down and then brushed my teeth for a good two minutes. There was something about sleeping upright that always made me drool, and I felt like I really needed a good long brushing to get rid of the morning breath after.

When I decided that my appearance was about as good as it was going to get, I went back to my seat. As I got there, a voice came over the intercom and announced that we were approaching Sioux Falls Train Station. The butterflies in my stomach flared up full force. I looked at the time again, it was a little after eight.

I quickly put my pillow and blanket away and then glued my face to the window, waiting for the station to appear. It wasn't long when I saw it, and we slowed to a stop along the platform.

And then I saw them. Both Sam and Dean standing on the platform, arms crossed, glaring at me. The blood drained from my face and I could tell that my face was showing visible signs of panic and probably fear too. When the train had come to a complete stop, and I still hadn't moved from where I sat looking back at them, Dean lifted a hand and crooked his finger at me. I gulped.

What he said about taking me over his knee wherever he found me when we were on the phone came back into my head. My heart rate quickened. Dean had never spanked me in a public place right out in the open. I would be mortified if that happened.

When Dean took a step toward the train, I knew that I had taken a moment too long in my own thoughts. I quickly grabbed my stuff and hauled ass to the door so he wouldn't have to come in looking for me. He met me as I stepped onto the platform, his strong hand taking hold of my upper arm without so much as a greeting.

I let him drag me along the platform back to Sam who looked as equally pissed off. I knew better than to try and say anything to either of them at that point. So I sucked it up and let Dean drag me out to the parking lot where the Impala sat looking as beautiful as ever in the morning sun. I had a brief moment where I wondered what was going to happen to the Impala once Dean was gone. But it was very brief because right as we approached the car I felt a searing sting across my backside, not once, but three times. I gasped and tried to pull away, but Dean grabbed my other arm and turned me to face him. His face was inches from mine.

"Where is your phone?" He said in a low, angry voice.

"In my pocket." I replied meekly.

"Is it off?"

"Yes." I looked down at the ground but Dean lifted my chin up to look at him.

"What's the rule about your phone?"

"To always have it on me and to answer when you call or text."

"Give it to me."

I reached into my pocket and pulled it out, handing it to him. He straightened up, flipping it open and turning it on. Once it was on, it began to buzz as it notified me for every missed call, voicemail, and text I received in the last twelve hours. It buzzed for almost two minutes. Dean stared at me with a pointed expression the whole time. When it finally stopped, he handed it back to me. I took it, holding it in my hands as if it were the most important thing in the world.

"You have my card?"

I nodded.

"Excuse me?" Dean turned his head so that his ear was toward me. "I can't hear you?"

"Yes, Dean. I have your card." I replied defeated. He held his hand out for it. I bent down to my backpack to get it.

"So that's one for turning your phone off, that's two for stealing my credit card, three for disobeying my order to stay where you were. Sam, you have anything else you can think of to add to that list?" Dean glanced over the Sam who stood beside him. He still hadn't said anything and his arms were still crossed over his arms.

"Well, she lied about what she was doing yesterday, so that's four. Oh, and she traveled across several states without permission or adult supervision. I'd say that counts as two, so that's a total of six?"

"Six." Dean repeated, turning to look at me. "That sounds like a good start."

I stared at my feet.

"Get in the car."

I turned without hesitation to open the door and slide in. Dean tossed my bags into the trunk of the car. Sam slid into the passenger seat, and said "There are a lot of text messages and voicemails for you to listen to. You should be able to get through them all by the time we get to Bobby's."

I bit my bottom lip, flipping my phone open to thirty missed texts, and eight voicemails. With a sigh, I set off on my task of checking all my messages.

~ . ~

When we got to Bobby's, all the panic and fear that I felt on the train had come back but three times as strong. Dean parked the car in his usual spot, shutting it off before turning to look at me.

"I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I am in your actions."

Tears began to brim in my eyes.

"With that said, I want you to go to your room and think about all the reasons why we are so disappointed in you right now. I'll be up in a little, but I need some time to calm down."

I blinked and tears fell silently down my face. It was always bad when Dean had to take time to calm down before punishing me. Those were the times when I really upset him, and I knew that I was really going to get it.

"Yes, Dean." I answered. I forced myself to open the car and get out, trudging up the path to the front door. It opened just as I got there and Bobby met me with a grim look on his face. I wanted to say something, but there was nothing to say. He jerked his head, motioning for me to get up the stairs to my room. I slipped past him, and yelped when he landed a well-placed swat on my backside.

It was then, that I burst into tears and ran the rest of the way up the stairs. Bobby rarely ever swatted me. Ever. He maybe gave me an actual spanking twice in my life and a few swats here and there over the years. He must have been just as upset as my brothers to swat me. I knew then that I would find no sympathy from anyone while I was here.

I threw myself onto my bed, crying into my arms. I had really messed up. I knew that. But I wasn't sorry that I did it. I wanted to be a hunter. I wanted to train. But I didn't want to lie to my brothers and worry them. I guess this was something that Dean would describe as 'wanting your cake and eating it too'.

By the time Dean had come up, my tears had dried up, but I was still feeling sorry for myself. He closed the door behind him then walked over to my bed, pulling up the chair that sat in the corner and sitting down.

"Dean, I-"

He held up a hand, stopping me in my tracks. He sat like that for a moment, before dragging his hand over his face and looking at me.

"I haven't been this upset with you, since you shot me with the rock salt."

I bit my lip to keep myself from speaking. I knew he wasn't done yet.

"I guess I just don't understand why you would leave without telling us, or talking to us about it. If you really didn't want to be on the road, we would have listened. We would have talked to you about it and figured something out. But you just—just taking off, us coming home and realizing that you're not coming back, and then finding out that you're not even in the same state, let alone same town anymore? Our first thought was that something had gotten you. That you were kidnapped. In danger. And then we realized your stuff was gone, and my credit card was gone."

"I'm sorry." I whispered, looking into my lap. I couldn't look at him anymore. The disappointment in his face sliced through me deeper than any weapon ever could.

"You're going to be a whole lot sorrier when I'm done with you."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine:

 _I will not turn my phone off. I will not steal. I will not disobey orders. I will not lie. I will not leave without permission._

 _I will not turn my phone off. I will not steal. I will not disobey orders. I will not lie. I will not leave without permission._

I sighed, putting my pencil down to flex my sore hand. I had been writing the same lines for nearly an hour. The tip on my pencil had worn down so much that it was almost impossible for me to make it through another line. I didn't have a sharpener with me, and it was the only pencil that Dean had given me when he handed me a small stack of paper with the instructions to write until he came back up. He said if it looked like I wasn't putting effort or sincerity into writing my lines when he came back, he would make me start all over. There was no way that I wanted to spend another hour writing the same lines.

Footsteps sounded in the hallway and I quickly picked my pencil up again and set back to writing the next line. Dean didn't bother knocking before opening the door and walking in. He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. I looked at him and put my pencil down, waiting.

"How many lines have you written?" He asked. I looked at the last line I wrote where I had numbered them in the left-hand column.

"I finished ninety three lines." I told him.

"Do seven more." Dean ordered. I stared at him, waiting for him to turn and leave again, but he didn't. I slowly picked up my pencil once more and set to work on the last seven lines, feeling Dean's gaze drilling holes in the side of my head. I could feel the embarrassed flush creeping up my neck into my face the whole time.

When I was finally done, I put my pencil down and said "Done." Without looking up. Dean stalked over to me and picked up the papers, glancing them over. He gave one nod of approval, right before ripping them into pieces. I gaped at him, opened mouthed. I had just slaved over those and my hand was throbbing from writing so much.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He feigned an apology. "I guess you don't appreciate it when you put a lot of work and time into something, and then someone comes along and just had no respect or regard for it."

I closed my mouth with a snap and glared down into my lap. I didn't trust myself to say anything that wouldn't get me in more trouble.

"I don't think you realize how disrespectful what you did was, Anna." Dean began to lecture. "Sam and I work hard, we do everything we can to give you a life that you can enjoy, as hard as it is to enjoy this kind of life. We make sure you're safe, comfortable, educated, fed, clothed, loved—" he paused his rant, running a hand over his face. "We're not always physically present or able to be with you, but we do everything we can, and you spit in our faces yesterday when you left like that."

"We wouldn't have been upset with you for wanting to come to Bobby's. If that's what you want, we would have worked something out. But the way you handled that . . . I don't think I want to leave you here with Bobby. If I can't trust you to behave the way you should and talk about what you want like the young lady I thought you were, then I will not leave you here to walk all over Bobby."

There was something inside of me that lifted at that. Telling him I wanted to stay at Bobby's was only my plan for if I had been caught. I was still trying to figure out how I would tell them that I had changed my mind and wanted to stay with them. But Dean had gotten rid of that issue for me. I almost wanted to smile in relief, but I knew even if I did, I wouldn't be smiling for much longer.

"I take it you don't need me to lecture you anymore about this?" He was switching modes now, I could see it. He was done talking about it. Now he was ready to punish me for it.

"No, Dean." I replied. He glanced down at his watch.

"Sam and I discussed your punishment together." That surprised me. Dean never discussed my punishments with Sam. He never had to. I looked at him, confused. "We both feel that since you broke so many different rules doing this, one spanking will not be sufficient. The spanking that you are going to get now will be for stealing my card, and lying to me about what you were doing yesterday. I will be using your brush for that. You know better than the lie or steal, especially when it comes to family."

I groaned inwardly. The brush was almost as bad as the belt, sometimes worse. Most of the time when Dean used the belt, it was only for a few swats. But when he used the brush, it almost always lasted longer.

"This afternoon, you'll be getting the belt for disobeying my orders, and turning off your phone. I'm sick of having these conversations with you. You. Know. Better."

I looked down into my lap when he stopped, knowing there was no way I would be sitting comfortably for a week.

"And tonight," my head snapped up. A third spanking? I looked at him wide-eyed. "Sam will be spanking you for leaving without permission, traveling without supervision. For putting yourself into a potentially dangerous situation where anyone could have picked you up, or the police could have picked you up for traveling alone."

"Sam?" my brain was spinning. Out of everything he had said, the only thing that had stuck with me was that Sam was going to be the one who was spanking me. Sam never spanked me. It was always Dad or Dean. But never Sam. "Why Sam? Why not you? It's always you! I don't want Sam to spank me, I want you to spank me!"

Dean shook his head and I could see that his jaw was clenched.

"When I'm gone, Sam's going to have to be the one to step up to the plate. We've been pretty relaxed with you for the past few weeks, granted, you haven't give us any serious problems, but it's clear now that you need a little more attention and structure than we've been giving you. I'm done making excuses for your behavior. From now on, we're cracking down and things are going to go back to the way they used to be. After today, Sam will be the one to punish you."

"No!" I screamed it at him, rising to my feet so fast that my chair fell over behind me. "No! You can't do that! I won't let you! It's not Sam's job, it's yours! It's always been yours!"

Tears had begun to stream down my face and my hands curled into fists beside me.

"You don't get to decide who looks after you!" Dean reprimanded, pointing a finger at me. "You're still a child! What, did you think life would be all daisy's and dandelions when I'm gone? That you'll have no one to answer to and you can do whatever you want? Sam cares about you just as much as I do, and he's the only one you have left!"

"No one cares about me as much as you do!" I yelled, not caring if Bobby or Sam heard downstairs. This was all wrong. I knew I would be getting punished for running away, but this was not what I expected. I had been taken completely by surprise and it made me angry. I put my face in my hands. This was all wrong. I scrunched my eyes against the tears that poured out like a waterfall. I could hear the floor squeak as Dean took a step toward me. I stepped away, throwing my hands away from my face to glare at him.

He stopped and gave me a look, daring me to defy him.

"Throwing a fit will not get you out of this. You want to talk about this later, we can. But right now you're going to be punished for your actions."

Another weird feeling hit in the pit of my stomach. That sounded like the old, strict Dean that I used to know. It was comforting, but not enough to calm the flow of tears, the anger, and the hurt that was pouring out of me.

"No, I want to talk about it now!" I demanded, stomping my foot. Dean just shook his head and walked towards me again, reaching out. I tried to step back but he lunged forward, grabbing my arm and dragging me over to the bed where he sat down, pulling me across his lap. I don't know what made me do it, but I had a mouthful of Dean's jeans a split second later as I bit down on his calf.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean's outraged gasp came just before his hand landed with a thunderous clap on my backside. When my yelp released his leg, he flipped me up so that I was standing in front of him. His eyes were dark, and I knew that I had crossed a line.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten:

I opened my mouth to say something, but Dean stood up, his hand on the back of my neck with a firm grip, and marched me out of my room, down the hall, to the bathroom. My heart raced as I was led to the cabinet where he reached in and pulled out a wrapped bar of soap.

"No, Dean, please!" I gasped, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. He didn't say anything as he led me over to the sink and unwrapped the soap. I was frozen in place, too scared to move from where he left me. He turned the sink on and stuck the soap under the water. He then ran his hands over it a few times so that suds formed. He turned to me and I shook my head, eyes wide with fear. I had my mouth washed out with soap once when I was younger by Dad when I cursed at him. It was an awful experience and I wasn't looking forward to it again.

"Open your mouth." Dean said, his voice a deadly calm. I shook my head, lips pursed together tightly. "One. Two."

I opened my mouth, sobbing. Dean stuck the bar of soap in my mouth, brushing it back and forth on my tongue for a good minute. The bubbles began to take over my mouth and I could only breathe out of my nose. I was drooling, but Dean didn't care. He waited until he was good and ready to take the soap out of my mouth.

"Spit." He said, placing the bar on the counter. I hurriedly bent over the sink and spit, but after a few seconds Dean straightened me up again. The taste was awful. It coated everything in my mouth. I wanted to rinse so bad, but I knew even then the taste would linger for a while. I could see my reflection in the mirror. Red, puffy eyes, tear streaked cheeks, runny nose, and drool and suds covered chin.

"Blow." Dean handed me a tissue. I blew, then wiped my cheeks and chin dry. Dean took it and tossed it into the garbage. He picked up the soap again, running it under water.

"Open." I didn't even fight him this time. I opened, sniffling through my nose as he coated my tongue a second time. I gagged on the suds as they filled my mouth, which made me cry harder. I was so humiliated. This time, after spitting, he let me rinse, handing me a cup. I accepted it silently, swishing the water around my mouth, trying to get every inch that was covered with soap rinsed clean. When all the water was gone from my cup, Dean took it, and led me back to my room.

He grabbed my brush off of my dresser, before sitting down on my bed and standing me before him. I wiped my face with the back of my hand, trying to get the courage to look at his stern face.

"If you _ever_ pull a stunt like that again-"

"I won't!" I interrupted quickly. "I'm so sorry, Dean! I promise, I'll never do that again! Ever!"

His eyes changed, flashing so briefly I wasn't sure what thought had gone through his head at that moment. He nodded a little.

"Good." He said, then I found myself right back over his knee, but this time my upper body was resting on my bed. I guess he didn't want to take the chance that I'd chomp on his leg again. I tucked my arms under my body and buried my face into my hands. Dean didn't waste any time pulling my jeans and underwear down. His arm rested over my back, holding me in place, and a moment later, his hand landed squarely on my right butt cheek, and it began.

He didn't lecture, he didn't say a word. He didn't even tell me when he picked up the brush and began to spank me with that. I jumped, gasping at the new pain, but he held me tight. I cried into my comforter. I couldn't think about anything but the fire in my butt and the disappointed, hurt look that was in Dean's eyes after I bit him when he was washing my mouth out.

When he was finally done, he pulled my pants back up and rubbed my back. When my sobs had stopped and I laid there silently, enjoying the feeling of his warm hand rubbing small circles on my back, Dean finally spoke.

"This is not how I want our last few months to be spent together. But I'm not going to let my situation affect the way you're raised. Sam is still going to hold you to the same standards I do. So will Bobby. So please, Anna. Don't give us any reason to have to punish you like this again, okay?"

I sniffled a little, but nodded my head. Dean patted my back and I stood up. I tried to wipe all the tears off my face. My eyes were heavy and I realized that I was suddenly exhausted. Dean stood up and pulled my comforter down. I gave him a defeated look before climbing into bed. He pulled the covers up and then leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"You're grounded to this room, by the way." He said. "I'll be up later. Rest."

He turned and walked to the door.

"Dean?" I called tentatively. He turned, waiting. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

I barely heard the door close behind him as I drifted off into sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

When Sam came into my room later that night, he looked almost as reluctant and uncomfortable as I felt. I was laying on my stomach, flipping through an old magazine that I found in my closet. When Sam closed the door behind him, I closed the magazine and went up into a sitting position. He didn't say anything. Neither did I.

I watched him as he moved slowly into my room, as if trying to plan where he was going to go, or what he was going to say. Eventually, he grabbed the chair from my desk, placed it in front of me, and sat down. He rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands together and licked his lips.

"Anna." He finally said with a sigh. My shoulders relaxed considerably at that. I hadn't realized they were so tense, but having Sam speak to me in that tone—it was different, and much less intense than Dean. "I don't want to do this. I really don't. But I have to. I know that and I think you know that too."

I bit my bottom lip and glanced away, but didn't say anything. Of course I knew that.

"Anna." He said again, bringing my gaze back to him. "Why didn't you come to me? If anyone would understand how you were feeling about being alone and on the road, you know it would be me. You know I'm the biggest advocate for you to have a normal life. I would have brought you to Bobby's myself."

I didn't reply. He looked hurt. Truly, deeply hurt, that I didn't go to him. My chest tightened and my throat constricted against the guilt.

"I don't understand how you thought stealing Dean's card and leaving by yourself would end in any way good. You had to have known you'd get your ass busted for it." He tilted his head, catching my gaze again. When he had it, he sat up a little straighter. "So what is it, then? What aren't you telling us?"

My heart skipped a beat.

"What do you mean?" I played stupid. No way was I going to confess after I made it this far.

"There had to be something about your plan that made the consequences worth it. You don't just throw your ass on the line for nothing, Anna. I know you."

"I don't have secret plans, Sam." I was trying to stay calm. I didn't want him to see that I was panicking after hearing him say that. But I was also getting a little mad. Who was he to talk to me about secret plans when he was meeting up with that demon. "I'm not like you."

It came out before I could stop it, but boy did it feel good when I saw the quick look of shock cross his face. It wasn't long though before it was replaced with a stern, cool look.

"Alright then. If that's how it's going to be, we'll just get down to business. Come here."

My butt was glued to the bed.

"Sam-"

"No. Don't try to talk your way out of this. I'm not going to say it again, Anna."

He gave me the sternest look I had ever seen from him. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I knew we were about to cross a line that would change our relationship forever. He wouldn't just be Sam, anymore. He was going to have to be Sam, and Dean, and Dad. And I wasn't ready for that.

"Sam-"

"Anna!" Sam said exasperated, and reached for me. I pulled back, holding my hands out.

"No, wait. Please, just listen to me. I need to say something."

He gave me a calculating look, trying to decide whether or not I was playing games with him. I hugged myself with my arms, holding myself together for the words that were going to come out of my mouth.

"What?" he ordered, but not meanly.

"I love you, Sam. I love you so much. I love that you've never punished me before, because it made certain aspects of our relationship easy, and sometimes better than the one I had with Dad and Dean. I get that with Dean . . . with what's going to happen to Dean that you have to step up to the plate. But I'm not ready. I'm not ready because it scares me to think that this means there's no hope for Dean. And it feels like that having you punish me, is forcing me to accept that he's going to die. And I'm not ready. I'm just not ready." I blinked the tears out of my eyes, and they cascaded down my cheeks in a warm trail. I hadn't even realized that Sam pulled me into his lap and was holding me tight, pressing his cheek onto my head.

"I know. I know exactly how you feel, Shrimp. I'm not ready either. But this doesn't mean we're giving up hope. There's always hope, okay? This is how things have to be right now. So we're both going to have to step up to the plate in ways we haven't had to before. We're going to do it for Dean, because it's what he wants."

He lifted his head up and brushed the hair from my face.

"These next few months won't be easy, Anna. But we're going to do what we have to and make it through. Okay?"

I nodded, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

"Good girl." He kissed my forehead and helped me to a standing position. "Let's finish this."

I bent over his lap, noticing right away everything different about him compared to Dean. He pulled my pants down to my knees, leaving my underwear as the only protection. I was already quite sore from Dean's spankings, that the first swat Sam placed had me gasping and wiggling to get away.

"Ow! Sam! Not so hard, please, it really hurts!" I whimpered. His giant hand seemed to cover my whole butt all at once, and it felt like a paddle. He put his free arm around my back to hold me in place.

"It's supposed to hurt, Anna. That's why it's a punishment." His tone changed and I could hear the resolve in it. The determination that I be punished for my misdeeds and accept it. The same tone I'd heard from Dad and Dean on numerous occasions. "If you had come to me, or Dean, or even Bobby, we wouldn't be here now, would we?"

I shook my head, eyes clenched shut against the onslaught of tears that rose at the pain.

"Would we?" He reiterated.

"No! Ah! No, Sam." I groaned as he moved his aim to my sit spot. "Ow, ow, ow."

My whimpers were starting to turn into sobs, and my sobs were starting to turn into wails.

"Was the instant gratification of doing what you wanted in the heat of the moment worth the consequences?"

"No!" I wailed banging my fist on the floor.

"Are you going to think twice next time you think it's a good idea to pull a stunt like that?"

"Yes! Yes! I will!"

"I really hope so, Anna. You've got a long way to go until you're an adult and can make decisions like that. I hope for your sake you stop trying to make your own decisions without us or you're going to find yourself right back over my lap."

"Okay!" I wailed. He swatted me ten more times, before stopping. I cried limply over his lap. I was never going to sit again. Ever. I pushed myself up to a standing position with assistance from Sam. I wiped my eyes as Sam pulled me into him. Even sitting, he was nearly taller than I was standing. I rested my cheek on his shoulder, trying to calm myself down as he rubbed circles on my back.

"It's over." He said gently. "Why don't we go downstairs and get some food in you."

I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck and shook my head. I wasn't ready to go face Dean and Bobby yet.

"You haven't eaten all day, Anna." Sam reminded me as he pulled my pants back up. I still refused to let go of his neck. "Dean's grilling burgers."

That peaked my attention a little bit.

"Come on, we'll go down together." Sam stood up and I was forced to release my grip. He put an arm around my shoulders and began walking towards the door. I paused, though.

"Sam?" He looked down at me. I bit my bottom lip as it began to tremble a little. Concern instantly spread across his face.

"What? What's wrong?" He bent down and put his hands on my shoulders.

"I love you." I whispered, trying to keep my voice under control. "I'm sorry if I make you feel like I don't love you. I love you just as much as I love Dean."

"Oh, Anna." Sam pulled me into him again and I broke down into tears. It didn't really hit me until after Sam spanked me, just how much I really do love him, and how my attachment to Dean might make him feel. "I know you love me. Why are you so upset?"

"I just d-don't want you to t-think that, that I only love Dean."

"I don't think that! I know you and Dean have a really strong bond together. I know how much he means to you. That doesn't bother me."

"It doesn't?"

"Not one bit." He straightened up and put his arm around me again. "Come on. I can hear your stomach rumbling."

A small smile spread across my face as I let him lead me downstairs.

He wasn't Dean, that was for sure. But he was Sam, and I could love him as Sam.


End file.
